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 Akpos D Comedian

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Scofield76
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-04-23, 18:41

First topic message reminder :

Akpos and Wife:

WIFE: What would U do if I die?
AKPOS: Hmm, I'll Cry!
WIFE: Won't U get remarried?
AKPOS: Of course not!
WIFE: Don't U like being remarried?
AKPOS: (Faintly)Fine,I would remarry.
WIFE: Would U let her wear my shoes?
AKPOS: No,she can't because she is size 8.
WIFE: TURNS RED
AKPOS: RUNS OUT!
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sunnydevess
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-01, 23:57

where our prize?
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-02, 11:20


Akpos' next door neighbour
had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little
baby was born with no ears.
When they
arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Akpos' family
to come over and see their
new baby.
Akpos' parents were very
afraid their son would have a silly words to
say about the baby. So, Akpos' dad had a long talk with Akpos
before going to the
neighbours house. He said, "Now, son, that poor
baby was born
without any ears. I want you to be on your best
behaviour and not say one word about his ears, or
I'm really going to beat you when we
get back home."
"I promise not to mention his ears
at all," said Akpos. At the neighbour's house, Akpos
leaned over the crib and touched the baby's
hand. He looked at
his mother and said,
"Oh, what a beautiful little baby!"
The mother, who had braced herself for Akpos'
comment, was pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank you
very
much, Akpos."
Akpos then continued, "This baby has perfect little
hands and
perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little
eyes! Did
his doctor say he can see clearly?" The mother who was
a bit surprised,
replied;
"Why, yes ... his doctor said he has a good vision,
why do you
ask?"
Akpos said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause i'm very sure
he can't wear
glasses.
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-02, 11:22


Funny Application Letter For A Job Of Security Guard At
GTB









Dear sar,
I am Name is Tenager, I apply to my job of security
guard to you boss in your company of GTBank. ...I am
complete to Sitted 7 examination certificate in2003. My
skool here... KAMWALA BASIC very good. ...
I am 29 ears to be Born of age and nowafe and no
childish. My father dead long time ago and mymother
is marry in CONGO REPUBLIC country there 10 years n
ow, no sees her until now, so nobody known to help
me...no money and food and tea and drink.
My
certificate is just sitting in home for itself, but passes in
Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but
fail in English because of eazy teacher teaching me is
look jelous of myself because i wear expenses cloth and shoe than
teacher musonda.
I here that people you want security
guards to your company and I tell youI am one of that
job experience for 2 years looking video for Rambo I, II
and III. I also shot thief dead. I want to join the
company of You and chase criminal and thief out with
SMG of me. I can fight for SMG, arrow, spear, panga,
knife, stick and stones. Me also can fight for boxing like
Tyson.
Please consider my application very careful and call me
any time because me have hand telephone now. I am
red for interview with you if you like me. Me have no
photocopy certificate because the photocopy machine
there at kabwata shop is a long time and veryold it can
mistake spelling in the certificate, that is why.
I am very
honest and I didn't steal since I born until now,I can
speak English free. I have no very much to right I have
end here.
Please also greet your wife and childrens!
Yurs fatefooli.... Akpors
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sunnydevess
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-02, 11:33

Lols, nice 1 bro.
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AWONUSI
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-02, 14:16

fxprof wrote:

Funny Application Letter For A Job Of Security Guard At
GTB









Dear sar,
I am Name is Tenager, I apply to my job of security
guard to you boss in your company of GTBank. ...I am
complete to Sitted 7 examination certificate in2003. My
skool here... KAMWALA BASIC very good. ...
I am 29 ears to be Born of age and nowafe and no
childish. My father dead long time ago and mymother
is marry in CONGO REPUBLIC country there 10 years n
ow, no sees her until now, so nobody known to help
me...no money and food and tea and drink.
My
certificate is just sitting in home for itself, but passes in
Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but
fail in English because of eazy teacher teaching me is
look jelous of myself because i wear expenses cloth and shoe than
teacher musonda.
I here that people you want security
guards to your company and I tell youI am one of that
job experience for 2 years looking video for Rambo I, II
and III. I also shot thief dead. I want to join the
company of You and chase criminal and thief out with
SMG of me. I can fight for SMG, arrow, spear, panga,
knife, stick and stones. Me also can fight for boxing like
Tyson.
Please consider my application very careful and call me
any time because me have hand telephone now. I am
red for interview with you if you like me. Me have no
photocopy certificate because the photocopy machine
there at kabwata shop is a long time and veryold it can
mistake spelling in the certificate, that is why.
I am very
honest and I didn't steal since I born until now,I can
speak English free. I have no very much to right I have
end here.
Please also greet your wife and childrens!
Yurs fatefooli.... Akpors
real funny
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 17:01

Akpos vs Wife.. World war III.. Loolz

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi.
He saw me in darkness, He created light.
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

WIFE:.. Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are ..
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

AKPOS: The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you..?

WIFE: ...Roses are red; Violets are blue.
Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too...
Not in cage but laughing at YOU
Akpos hissed and backed her on the bed...zzzzzzzzzzz

WHO KILLED IT? The wife or the husband?
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 17:04

Akpors: babe u knw av
been 2 London abt 4
times
Ekaette: oh really?
Akpors: i went 2 greet the queen and she even sent me 2 Washington 2 represent her. I later
went 2 Cairo and Madrid, but that wasn't all, i took a flight 2 germany and later, Milan. I went for shopping in paris and
couldnt find all i need so
i went 2 Hong kong 2get them.
Ekaette: wow then u
must knw geography.
Akpors: have been there once.
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sunnydevess
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 17:13

Mumu Akpors
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Suny11
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 17:42

3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they
were
drunk so he started the engine
&
turned it off again. He told
them."We have reached
". The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you". The
3rd guy... gave the driver a
slap!! The driver was
shocked,thinkin g
the 3rd drunk knew what he
did. But he asked "whats that
for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL
YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!!
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sunnydevess
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 17:49

Suny11 wrote:
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they
were
drunk so he started the engine
&
turned it off again. He told
them."We have reached
". The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you". The
3rd guy... gave the driver a
slap!! The driver was
shocked,thinkin g
the 3rd drunk knew what he
did. But he asked "whats that
for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL
YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!!
lol!
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Isaac Nana Kofi Asenso
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 18:13

fxprof wrote:
Akpos traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result was out so that his Uncle will help him get admission into the University of Lagos to study medicine and become a medical doctor....

The following conversation happened between them:
Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into the university these days except you are well connected...

Uncle: That's true...
Akpos: Since you are connected, I came to ask you if you can help me get admission into the university after my JAMB....

Uncle: That's true... am connected and I will help u....
Akpos: Thank you Uncle....

Uncle: You welcome...so how is your result, is it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you get?
Akpos: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had only two credits in agric and Yoruba language but I failed the rest...

Uncle: Well, that's not bad... you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really but native doctor (babalawo)...
You will use your credit in agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and Yoruba language for incantations... ­..
hahahahaahaaa, cant stop laughing
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Olybra
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 18:25

fxprof wrote:
Akpos traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result was out so that his Uncle will help him get admission into the University of Lagos to study medicine and become a medical doctor....

The following conversation happened between them:
Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into the university these days except you are well connected...

Uncle: That's true...
Akpos: Since you are connected, I came to ask you if you can help me get admission into the university after my JAMB....

Uncle: That's true... am connected and I will help u....
Akpos: Thank you Uncle....

Uncle: You welcome...so how is your result, is it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you get?
Akpos: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had only two credits in agric and Yoruba language but I failed the rest...

Uncle: Well, that's not bad... you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really but native doctor (babalawo)...
You will use your credit in agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and Yoruba language for incantations... ­..


With that qualification, akpos go hot pas Lalude sef.
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Olybra
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 18:28

Suny11 wrote:
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they
were
drunk so he started the engine
&
turned it off again. He told
them."We have reached
". The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you". The
3rd guy... gave the driver a
slap!! The driver was
shocked,thinkin g
the 3rd drunk knew what he
did. But he asked "whats that
for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL
YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!!


Sebi dem don reach final b/stop!
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Olybra
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-03, 18:32

fxprof wrote:
Akpos vs Wife.. World war III.. Loolz

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi.
He saw me in darkness, He created light.
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

WIFE:.. Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are ..
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

AKPOS: The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you..?

WIFE: ...Roses are red; Violets are blue.
Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too...
Not in cage but laughing at YOU
Akpos hissed and backed her on the bed...zzzzzzzzzzz

WHO KILLED IT? The wife or the husband?

lol!
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-05, 19:20

Akpos Ex Gf wrote him a heart to heart letter.....

>
>
>
>
>
>
.
.
>


Dear my dearest,
This is your girlfriend calling. Before i go on, how is your air condition? You
do something i dont like at all. You take another girlfriendship & it pains
me. The first time you see me you say i beautiful thanall the girls in your
town but i hear people say you say i no beautiful. If i no beautiful, i wont
say any thing. I will give all to God. Even when it is raining. U pass through
the rain& come & stand by my window place & call me, and you think if i
throw you medicine, it won’t hit you? It will hit you, only i am christianity
so i wont throw you. Now i get new boyfriendship & he do work in an
aeroplane. You say i no beautiful, i and you who are beautiful? Your face
like a goat. Because of what you have done. God will beat you with a stick.
When you come toour yard. i will show you wise.
Your faithfool,
Onome
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peter pan
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-05, 20:32

fxprof wrote:
Akpos Ex Gf wrote him a heart to heart letter.....

>
>
>
>
>
>
.
.
>


Dear my dearest,
This is your girlfriend calling. Before i go on, how is your air condition? You
do something i dont like at all. You take another girlfriendship & it pains
me. The first time you see me you say i beautiful thanall the girls in your
town but i hear people say you say i no beautiful. If i no beautiful, i wont
say any thing. I will give all to God. Even when it is raining. U pass through
the rain& come & stand by my window place & call me, and you think if i
throw you medicine, it won’t hit you? It will hit you, only i am christianity
so i wont throw you. Now i get new boyfriendship & he do work in an
aeroplane. You say i no beautiful, i and you who are beautiful? Your face
like a goat. Because of what you have done. God will beat you with a stick.
When you come toour yard. i will show you wise.
Your faithfool,
Onome
hmmmm!
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sunnydevess
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-05, 21:22

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,
My name is Akpors, a 74 year old poor man, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. The coming Sunday I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Akpors

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the man.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Akpors and the dinner he would be able to share with his friends.

Sunday came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old man to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those thieves at the post office!
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-06, 05:16

fxprof wrote:
Akpors: babe u knw av
been 2 London abt 4
times
Ekaette: oh really?
Akpors: i went 2 greet the queen and she even sent me 2 Washington 2 represent her. I later
went 2 Cairo and Madrid, but that wasn't all, i took a flight 2 germany and later, Milan. I went for shopping in paris and
couldnt find all i need so
i went 2 Hong kong 2get them.
Ekaette: wow then u
must knw geography.
Akpors: have been there once.
Akpor is hiding at the back of a finger.
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peter pan
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-06, 07:02

fxprof wrote:
Akpors: babe u knw av
been 2 London abt 4
times
Ekaette: oh really?
Akpors: i went 2 greet the queen and she even sent me 2 Washington 2 represent her. I later
went 2 Cairo and Madrid, but that wasn't all, i took a flight 2 germany and later, Milan. I went for shopping in paris and
couldnt find all i need so
i went 2 Hong kong 2get them.
Ekaette: wow then u
must knw geography.
Akpors: have been there once.
hmmmmmm!
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peter pan
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-06, 07:06

Suny11 wrote:
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they
were
drunk so he started the engine
&
turned it off again. He told
them."We have reached
". The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you". The
3rd guy... gave the driver a
slap!! The driver was
shocked,thinkin g
the 3rd drunk knew what he
did. But he asked "whats that
for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL
YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!!
driver na guy man!
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AWONUSI
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-06, 09:40

fxprof wrote:
Akpos vs Wife.. World war III.. Loolz

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi.
He saw me in darkness, He created light.
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

WIFE:.. Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are ..
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

AKPOS: The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you..?

WIFE: ...Roses are red; Violets are blue.
Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too...
Not in cage but laughing at YOU
Akpos hissed and backed her on the bed...zzzzzzzzzzz

WHO KILLED IT? The wife or the husband?
husband
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-06, 10:22

Akpos immediate friend, can u saw reason why its good to gone to school

Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Image11


somebody say AMEN!!? Razz


Last edited by fxprof on 2013-05-06, 13:08; edited 2 times in total
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Olybra
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-06, 12:58

fxprof wrote:
Akpos immediate friend, can u saw reason why its good to gone to school

Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Image11



lol!
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fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-08, 09:03

.

Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market.

The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?"

Akpors said "na me
change am, because the last time I help
person find purse she say she for give me
something but change nor dey! So I changed
it"[b]
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Lottodream
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-08, 09:40

Akpors again too smart.
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http://www.lafesdelect.co.ng
fxprof
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Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-09, 23:53

Akpos close from work on Friday and
decided to give any lady that came his
way a lift. After the 2nd turn from his
office along lekki expressway, he
saw a
nun and gave her a lift. While they were going he did not know how to start a
conversation with her, therefore, he
placed his hand on her laps pretending
if it
was a gear stick. The sister softly said
Mathew7;7' , he quickly removed his hand,
and resume concentrating on his
driving.
He attempted it the 2nd and 3rd time,
and each time, she repeated, Mathew
7:7'. When the nun got to her destination,
she
opened the door and said to Akpos,
'Youngman, the problem with you is
that
you don't read your Bible When Akpos got
home, he opened his Bible to MATHEW
7:7 which reads "ask and it shall be
given". He
nearly cry
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-10, 06:33

akpos no they read bible!
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-10, 23:56

.
.


Jim and Akpos were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the
hospital swimming pool., Jim suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the
pool and stayed there. Akpos promptly jumped in to save him. Akpos
swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware
of Akpos's heroic act, She immediately ordered
Akpos to be discharged from the hospital, as the Head Nurse
now considered Akpos to be mentally stable. When the nurse went to tell Akpos the news she said,
"Akpos, I have good news and bad news. The
good news is you're being discharged; since
you were able to rationally respond to a crisis
by jumping in and saving the life of another
patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but
he's dead. Akpos replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him
there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-11, 00:39

akpos is not mentally ooook
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-11, 03:27

fxprof wrote:
.
.


Jim and Akpos were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the
hospital swimming pool., Jim suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the
pool and stayed there. Akpos promptly jumped in to save him. Akpos
swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware
of Akpos's heroic act, She immediately ordered
Akpos to be discharged from the hospital, as the Head Nurse
now considered Akpos to be mentally stable. When the nurse went to tell Akpos the news she said,
"Akpos, I have good news and bad news. The
good news is you're being discharged; since
you were able to rationally respond to a crisis
by jumping in and saving the life of another
patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but
he's dead. Akpos replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him
there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Nice one bro.
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-11, 07:46

Akpos, Rukewe and
Johndecided to go to China for
vacation. Since they were new
to the place they had to stay
in a hotel. And their room was
on the 60th floor.
The policy of the hotel was
that at midnight the elevators
were shut down.
The next day, this guysrented
a car and explored the city.
They enjoyed themselves and
arrived at the hotel past
midnight.
The elevators were shut
down.
There was no other wayto get
to their room but to take the
stairs all theway to the 60th
floor.
John said'''for the first 20
floors, I will tell jokesto keep
us going. Then Rukewe could
say wise stories for the next
20 floors and lastly, we will
cover the final 20 floorswith
sad stories from akpos.''
So,John started with jokes.
With laughs and joy, they
reached the 20th floor.
Rukewe started saying stories
full of wisdom. They learned a
lot while reaching the 40th
floor.
Now it was time for sad
stories. So, Akpos started: ‘My
first sad story is that I left the
key for the room in the car.
?f na you be the friend wetin u go do??
Gud mornin fellas
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-11, 07:59

Stevolat wrote:
Akpos, Rukewe and
Johndecided to go to China for
vacation. Since they were new
to the place they had to stay
in a hotel. And their room was
on the 60th floor.
The policy of the hotel was
that at midnight the elevators
were shut down.
The next day, this guysrented
a car and explored the city.
They enjoyed themselves and
arrived at the hotel past
midnight.
The elevators were shut
down.
There was no other wayto get
to their room but to take the
stairs all theway to the 60th
floor.
John said'''for the first 20
floors, I will tell jokesto keep
us going. Then Rukewe could
say wise stories for the next
20 floors and lastly, we will
cover the final 20 floorswith
sad stories from akpos.''
So,John started with jokes.
With laughs and joy, they
reached the 20th floor.
Rukewe started saying stories
full of wisdom. They learned a
lot while reaching the 40th
floor.
Now it was time for sad
stories. So, Akpos started: ‘My
first sad story is that I left the
key for the room in the car.
?f na you be the friend wetin u go do??
Gud mornin fellas
I will distroy my door!
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-13, 21:54










One morning at a doctor's office
Akpos arrives
complaining of serious back-pain.
The doctor
examines him and asks him" OK,

what happened to your back?"
Akpos replies "You know
that I work for a local
night club right? This morning I
got home to my
apartmentearly and heard a noisein my bedroom. On
entering I knew someone had
been with my wife
and the balcony door was open. I
rushed out the
balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from
the balcony I saw a man running
out and
he was dressing himself. I
grabbed the fridge and
threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking
as if he has been in a
car wreck. The doctor said "My
previous patient akpos
looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell
happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have
been unemployed for a
while now. Today was the first
day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running
late. I was
running out of the building,
getting dressed at the
sametime, and you won't believe
it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks
even worse than the
other two Patients do.. The
doctor is shocked. Again
asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?" ­ "Well I was sitting
in a fridge & someone threw it
from the 3rd floor"......
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-16, 00:23

Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir!
Teacher: 38?
Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir!
Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out?
Johnson: 36 sir.
Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo!
Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38?
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-16, 04:35

fxprof wrote:
Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir!
Teacher: 38?
Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir!
Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out?
Johnson: 36 sir.
Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo!
Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38?
Akpors dey very current jare
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-16, 09:00

fxprof wrote:
Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir!
Teacher: 38?
Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir!
Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out?
Johnson: 36 sir.
Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo!
Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38?


love this
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-16, 09:11

Nice one.
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-16, 12:01

fxprof wrote:
Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir!
Teacher: 38?
Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir!
Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out?
Johnson: 36 sir.
Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo!
Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38?

Bro, thumb up.
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-17, 11:46







Akpos was being discharged from Yaba Mental
Hospital after the doctors thought he was finally
back to normal.
They put him in an Ambulance to be taken back
home.
They took him to Omole, as he claimed that's where
he lived.
Just as they approached a certain house, 2 kids
dressed in school uniforms came out of the house.
Akpos screamed; "Those are my children, they are
going to school".
A minute later a woman came out of the same house
and Akpos screamed; "That's my wife, she is
late for work."
This time the doctors were
convinced Akpos was okay and took him out of the
ambulance but was still in chains.
As they were about unlocking the chains, a man
came out of the house and Akpos screamed; "Yes,
that's me, i am going to my office."
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-17, 12:57

Akpos is hallucinating as a result of psychosis.
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-17, 13:51

Olybra wrote:
Akpos is hallucinating as a result of psychosis.
hmmm!
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-18, 12:54

Akpors: MTN people dey chop our
money too much
Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too
much
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of
using phone, why don't we use a
pigeon in sending messages like
the old time, just tie your
message to it's leg if you want to
reply
Ekaitte: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte
saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few
minutes it comes back, she
quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no message again, she sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the window
for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but still no message.
With too much anger, she headed to Akpors house and shouted "Akpors come here, you idiot, you said you will send message throughthis pigeon but why the
three times it came to me, no message?!
Akpors: You don't get it oooh... It's
3 missed calls not message
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-18, 13:05

Lolz!
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-18, 17:01


hahahahas
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http://www.exchequresignalvent.getafricaonlne.com
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-18, 17:28

fxprof wrote:
Akpors: MTN people dey chop our
money too much
Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too
much
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of
using phone, why don't we use a
pigeon in sending messages like
the old time, just tie your
message to it's leg if you want to
reply
Ekaitte: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte
saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few
minutes it comes back, she
quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no message again, she sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the window
for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but still no message.
With too much anger, she headed to Akpors house and shouted "Akpors come here, you idiot, you said you will send message throughthis pigeon but why the
three times it came to me, no message?!
Akpors: You don't get it oooh... It's
3 missed calls not message
hahahaha, funny!
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-19, 08:24




Akpors sits next to a girl on a table in a hotel

Akpors: hello madam?
Lady: what is it?
Akpors: sorry madam , just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time
Akpors: but madam
Lady: shut up!!!

Akpors takes out his Apple phone and makes call
Akpors: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens*

Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens*
Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok bye

Lady: sir the time is .....(interrupted)..
Akpors: shut up !!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-22, 01:29

Akpos,Rev Father and d grave yard interesting....

Two friends were passing tru d grave yard,dey saw a vry big mango tree full of ripe mangos,dey paused alittle looked around didn't see any1 passing,dey nw climbed d tree nd started plucking d mangos til it filled a bag dey wia holding,dey nw decided to carry d tin to wia dey wil shear d mangos,1 suggested 4 dem to inside d grave yard so dat no 1 wil see dem,dey nw slowly enter d grave yard tru d front GATE,as dey wia passing d gate 2 mangos fell on d floor,dey left it den settled down in d grave yard nd started shearing d mangos,as dey wia shearing dem d main man Akpos was nw passing tru d gate of d grave yard,he was hearing a tiny noise 4rm d grave yard he paused a little ful of fear nd started listening,wot he was hearing was"1 for me,1 for u""1 for me,1 for u"fear entered Akpos body he quietly started running to dia village rev Father...he got dia shouting father come nd see wia God nd d devil are shearing dead bodies at d grave yard,immediately father nd Akpos nw ran bck to d grave yard and stood infront of d gate,akpos told father pls listen,dey paused nw started listening,d voices continued"1 for me 1 for u""1 for me,1 for u"after a yl d voiced stoped alittle,d next tin dat Akpos nd d rev Father heard was "hey!! Wot of d 2 at d gate"
..
...
....
....seee run!!!! Akpos nd d rev father took off,d Rev father even dnt no wen his bible fell of his hand as dey wia running dey wia shouting pls oh we are stil alive oh,we ar nt dead body oh!!!!!nt knwing dey wia talking of d 2 mangos dat droped at d gate lolzzzzzzzzzz

Hav a lovely night pals.
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-22, 01:38

Akpos family nd d slaping robot
Akpos Dad bot a lie detector robot which slaps
people who lie.
He decides 2 test it @ dinner.
Papa Akpos : Son, where were u today during school
hours ?
Akpos : At School.
Robot slaps son!
Ok, I lied, I
went to the movies.
Papa Akpos : Which one ?
Akpos : Toy Story.
Robot slaps son again! Ok, it
was porn movie.
Papa Akpos : What ?!
When I was ur age, I never
watched such films....
Robot slaps akpos papa!
Mama Akpos : Ha ha ha ha!
After all he's ur son. Robot slaps mom!!
Total silence..!!

1 word 4 Akpos family...

nitey nitey again...
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-22, 04:00

Akpos wont stop putting smiles 2 our face
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PostSubject: Re: Akpos D Comedian   Akpos D Comedian - Page 2 Empty2013-05-22, 08:03

Keep the jokes coming...
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