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| | Akpos D Comedian | |
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Scofield76 Senior
Sex : Male Posts : 1267 Location : Centre Of Excellence,9ja
| Subject: Akpos D Comedian 2013-04-23, 18:41 | |
| First topic message reminder :
Akpos and Wife:
WIFE: What would U do if I die? AKPOS: Hmm, I'll Cry! WIFE: Won't U get remarried? AKPOS: Of course not! WIFE: Don't U like being remarried? AKPOS: (Faintly)Fine,I would remarry. WIFE: Would U let her wear my shoes? AKPOS: No,she can't because she is size 8. WIFE: TURNS RED AKPOS: RUNS OUT! | |
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sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-01, 23:57 | |
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| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-02, 11:20 | |
| Akpos' next door neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Akpos' family to come over and see their new baby. Akpos' parents were very afraid their son would have a silly words to say about the baby. So, Akpos' dad had a long talk with Akpos before going to the neighbours house. He said, "Now, son, that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behaviour and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to beat you when we get back home." "I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Akpos. At the neighbour's house, Akpos leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at his mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother, who had braced herself for Akpos' comment, was pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank you very much, Akpos." Akpos then continued, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see clearly?" The mother who was a bit surprised, replied; "Why, yes ... his doctor said he has a good vision, why do you ask?" Akpos said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause i'm very sure he can't wear glasses.
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| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-02, 11:22 | |
| Funny Application Letter For A Job Of Security Guard At GTB
Dear sar, I am Name is Tenager, I apply to my job of security guard to you boss in your company of GTBank. ...I am complete to Sitted 7 examination certificate in2003. My skool here... KAMWALA BASIC very good. ... I am 29 ears to be Born of age and nowafe and no childish. My father dead long time ago and mymother is marry in CONGO REPUBLIC country there 10 years n ow, no sees her until now, so nobody known to help me...no money and food and tea and drink. My certificate is just sitting in home for itself, but passes in Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but fail in English because of eazy teacher teaching me is look jelous of myself because i wear expenses cloth and shoe than teacher musonda. I here that people you want security guards to your company and I tell youI am one of that job experience for 2 years looking video for Rambo I, II and III. I also shot thief dead. I want to join the company of You and chase criminal and thief out with SMG of me. I can fight for SMG, arrow, spear, panga, knife, stick and stones. Me also can fight for boxing like Tyson. Please consider my application very careful and call me any time because me have hand telephone now. I am red for interview with you if you like me. Me have no photocopy certificate because the photocopy machine there at kabwata shop is a long time and veryold it can mistake spelling in the certificate, that is why. I am very honest and I didn't steal since I born until now,I can speak English free. I have no very much to right I have end here. Please also greet your wife and childrens! Yurs fatefooli.... Akpors
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| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-02, 11:33 | |
| | |
| | | AWONUSI Enthusiast
Sex : male Posts : 1604
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-02, 14:16 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
Funny Application Letter For A Job Of Security Guard At GTB
Dear sar, I am Name is Tenager, I apply to my job of security guard to you boss in your company of GTBank. ...I am complete to Sitted 7 examination certificate in2003. My skool here... KAMWALA BASIC very good. ... I am 29 ears to be Born of age and nowafe and no childish. My father dead long time ago and mymother is marry in CONGO REPUBLIC country there 10 years n ow, no sees her until now, so nobody known to help me...no money and food and tea and drink. My certificate is just sitting in home for itself, but passes in Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but fail in English because of eazy teacher teaching me is look jelous of myself because i wear expenses cloth and shoe than teacher musonda. I here that people you want security guards to your company and I tell youI am one of that job experience for 2 years looking video for Rambo I, II and III. I also shot thief dead. I want to join the company of You and chase criminal and thief out with SMG of me. I can fight for SMG, arrow, spear, panga, knife, stick and stones. Me also can fight for boxing like Tyson. Please consider my application very careful and call me any time because me have hand telephone now. I am red for interview with you if you like me. Me have no photocopy certificate because the photocopy machine there at kabwata shop is a long time and veryold it can mistake spelling in the certificate, that is why. I am very honest and I didn't steal since I born until now,I can speak English free. I have no very much to right I have end here. Please also greet your wife and childrens! Yurs fatefooli.... Akpors real funny | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 17:01 | |
| Akpos vs Wife.. World war III.. Loolz WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw me in darkness, He created light. He saw me without problems, He created YOU. WIFE:.. Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are .. And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far. AKPOS: The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you..? WIFE: ...Roses are red; Violets are blue. Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO. Don't feel so angry you will find me there too... Not in cage but laughing at YOU Akpos hissed and backed her on the bed...zzzzzzzzzzz
WHO KILLED IT? The wife or the husband? | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 17:04 | |
| Akpors: babe u knw av been 2 London abt 4 times Ekaette: oh really? Akpors: i went 2 greet the queen and she even sent me 2 Washington 2 represent her. I later went 2 Cairo and Madrid, but that wasn't all, i took a flight 2 germany and later, Milan. I went for shopping in paris and couldnt find all i need so i went 2 Hong kong 2get them. Ekaette: wow then u must knw geography. Akpors: have been there once. | |
| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 17:13 | |
| | |
| | | Suny11 Enthusiast
Posts : 1503 Location : Zambia
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 17:42 | |
| 3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them."We have reached ". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy... gave the driver a slap!! The driver was shocked,thinkin g the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But he asked "whats that for?". The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us"!!!!
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| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| | | | Isaac Nana Kofi Asenso Senior
Posts : 632 Location : PLUTO
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 18:13 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpos traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result was out so that his Uncle will help him get admission into the University of Lagos to study medicine and become a medical doctor....
The following conversation happened between them: Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into the university these days except you are well connected... Uncle: That's true... Akpos: Since you are connected, I came to ask you if you can help me get admission into the university after my JAMB.... Uncle: That's true... am connected and I will help u.... Akpos: Thank you Uncle.... Uncle: You welcome...so how is your result, is it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you get? Akpos: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had only two credits in agric and Yoruba language but I failed the rest... Uncle: Well, that's not bad... you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really but native doctor (babalawo)... You will use your credit in agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and Yoruba language for incantations... .. hahahahaahaaa, cant stop laughing | |
| | | Olybra Professional
Sex : Male Posts : 2650
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 18:25 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpos traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result was out so that his Uncle will help him get admission into the University of Lagos to study medicine and become a medical doctor....
The following conversation happened between them: Akpos: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into the university these days except you are well connected... Uncle: That's true... Akpos: Since you are connected, I came to ask you if you can help me get admission into the university after my JAMB.... Uncle: That's true... am connected and I will help u.... Akpos: Thank you Uncle.... Uncle: You welcome...so how is your result, is it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you get? Akpos: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had only two credits in agric and Yoruba language but I failed the rest... Uncle: Well, that's not bad... you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really but native doctor (babalawo)... You will use your credit in agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and Yoruba language for incantations... .. With that qualification, akpos go hot pas Lalude sef. | |
| | | Olybra Professional
Sex : Male Posts : 2650
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-03, 18:28 | |
| - Suny11 wrote:
- 3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them."We have reached ". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy... gave the driver a slap!! The driver was shocked,thinkin g the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But he asked "whats that for?". The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us"!!!!
Sebi dem don reach final b/stop! | |
| | | Olybra Professional
Sex : Male Posts : 2650
| | | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-05, 19:20 | |
| Akpos Ex Gf wrote him a heart to heart letter.....
> > > > > > . . >
Dear my dearest, This is your girlfriend calling. Before i go on, how is your air condition? You do something i dont like at all. You take another girlfriendship & it pains me. The first time you see me you say i beautiful thanall the girls in your town but i hear people say you say i no beautiful. If i no beautiful, i wont say any thing. I will give all to God. Even when it is raining. U pass through the rain& come & stand by my window place & call me, and you think if i throw you medicine, it won’t hit you? It will hit you, only i am christianity so i wont throw you. Now i get new boyfriendship & he do work in an aeroplane. You say i no beautiful, i and you who are beautiful? Your face like a goat. Because of what you have done. God will beat you with a stick. When you come toour yard. i will show you wise. Your faithfool, Onome | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-05, 20:32 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpos Ex Gf wrote him a heart to heart letter.....
> > > > > > . . >
Dear my dearest, This is your girlfriend calling. Before i go on, how is your air condition? You do something i dont like at all. You take another girlfriendship & it pains me. The first time you see me you say i beautiful thanall the girls in your town but i hear people say you say i no beautiful. If i no beautiful, i wont say any thing. I will give all to God. Even when it is raining. U pass through the rain& come & stand by my window place & call me, and you think if i throw you medicine, it won’t hit you? It will hit you, only i am christianity so i wont throw you. Now i get new boyfriendship & he do work in an aeroplane. You say i no beautiful, i and you who are beautiful? Your face like a goat. Because of what you have done. God will beat you with a stick. When you come toour yard. i will show you wise. Your faithfool, Onome hmmmm! | |
| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-05, 21:22 | |
| There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God, My name is Akpors, a 74 year old poor man, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. The coming Sunday I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Akpors
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the man.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Akpors and the dinner he would be able to share with his friends.
Sunday came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old man to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those thieves at the post office! | |
| | | DPRINCENONI Amateur
Sex : Male Posts : 188 Location : Kaduna
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-06, 05:16 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpors: babe u knw av
been 2 London abt 4 times Ekaette: oh really? Akpors: i went 2 greet the queen and she even sent me 2 Washington 2 represent her. I later went 2 Cairo and Madrid, but that wasn't all, i took a flight 2 germany and later, Milan. I went for shopping in paris and couldnt find all i need so i went 2 Hong kong 2get them. Ekaette: wow then u must knw geography. Akpors: have been there once. Akpor is hiding at the back of a finger. | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-06, 07:02 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpors: babe u knw av
been 2 London abt 4 times Ekaette: oh really? Akpors: i went 2 greet the queen and she even sent me 2 Washington 2 represent her. I later went 2 Cairo and Madrid, but that wasn't all, i took a flight 2 germany and later, Milan. I went for shopping in paris and couldnt find all i need so i went 2 Hong kong 2get them. Ekaette: wow then u must knw geography. Akpors: have been there once. hmmmmmm! | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-06, 07:06 | |
| - Suny11 wrote:
- 3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them."We have reached ". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy... gave the driver a slap!! The driver was shocked,thinkin g the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But he asked "whats that for?". The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us"!!!!
driver na guy man! | |
| | | AWONUSI Enthusiast
Sex : male Posts : 1604
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-06, 09:40 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpos vs Wife.. World war III.. Loolz
WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw me in darkness, He created light. He saw me without problems, He created YOU. WIFE:.. Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are .. And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far. AKPOS: The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you..? WIFE: ...Roses are red; Violets are blue. Monkeys like u should be kept in ZOO. Don't feel so angry you will find me there too... Not in cage but laughing at YOU Akpos hissed and backed her on the bed...zzzzzzzzzzz
WHO KILLED IT? The wife or the husband? husband | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-06, 10:22 | |
| Akpos immediate friend, can u saw reason why its good to gone to school somebody say AMEN!!?
Last edited by fxprof on 2013-05-06, 13:08; edited 2 times in total | |
| | | Olybra Professional
Sex : Male Posts : 2650
| | | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-08, 09:03 | |
| .
Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market.
The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?"
Akpors said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change nor dey! So I changed it"[b] | |
| | | Lottodream Expert
Sex : Female Posts : 4367 Location : IB
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-08, 09:40 | |
| | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-09, 23:53 | |
| Akpos close from work on Friday and decided to give any lady that came his way a lift. After the 2nd turn from his office along lekki expressway, he saw a nun and gave her a lift. While they were going he did not know how to start a conversation with her, therefore, he placed his hand on her laps pretending if it was a gear stick. The sister softly said Mathew7;7' , he quickly removed his hand, and resume concentrating on his driving. He attempted it the 2nd and 3rd time, and each time, she repeated, Mathew 7:7'. When the nun got to her destination, she opened the door and said to Akpos, 'Youngman, the problem with you is that you don't read your Bible When Akpos got home, he opened his Bible to MATHEW 7:7 which reads "ask and it shall be given". He nearly cry | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-10, 06:33 | |
| akpos no they read bible! | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-10, 23:56 | |
| . .
Jim and Akpos were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool., Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Akpos promptly jumped in to save him. Akpos swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Akpos's heroic act, She immediately ordered Akpos to be discharged from the hospital, as the Head Nurse now considered Akpos to be mentally stable. When the nurse went to tell Akpos the news she said, "Akpos, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead. Akpos replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
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| | | AWONUSI Enthusiast
Sex : male Posts : 1604
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-11, 00:39 | |
| akpos is not mentally ooook | |
| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-11, 03:27 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- .
.
Jim and Akpos were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool., Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Akpos promptly jumped in to save him. Akpos swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Akpos's heroic act, She immediately ordered Akpos to be discharged from the hospital, as the Head Nurse now considered Akpos to be mentally stable. When the nurse went to tell Akpos the news she said, "Akpos, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead. Akpos replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Nice one bro. | |
| | | Stevolat Expert
Sex : Male Posts : 4364
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-11, 07:46 | |
| Akpos, Rukewe and Johndecided to go to China for vacation. Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that at midnight the elevators were shut down. The next day, this guysrented a car and explored the city. They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel past midnight. The elevators were shut down. There was no other wayto get to their room but to take the stairs all theway to the 60th floor. John said'''for the first 20 floors, I will tell jokesto keep us going. Then Rukewe could say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly, we will cover the final 20 floorswith sad stories from akpos.'' So,John started with jokes. With laughs and joy, they reached the 20th floor. Rukewe started saying stories full of wisdom. They learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor. Now it was time for sad stories. So, Akpos started: ‘My first sad story is that I left the key for the room in the car. ?f na you be the friend wetin u go do?? Gud mornin fellas | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-11, 07:59 | |
| - Stevolat wrote:
- Akpos, Rukewe and
Johndecided to go to China for vacation. Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that at midnight the elevators were shut down. The next day, this guysrented a car and explored the city. They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel past midnight. The elevators were shut down. There was no other wayto get to their room but to take the stairs all theway to the 60th floor. John said'''for the first 20 floors, I will tell jokesto keep us going. Then Rukewe could say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly, we will cover the final 20 floorswith sad stories from akpos.'' So,John started with jokes. With laughs and joy, they reached the 20th floor. Rukewe started saying stories full of wisdom. They learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor. Now it was time for sad stories. So, Akpos started: ‘My first sad story is that I left the key for the room in the car. ?f na you be the friend wetin u go do?? Gud mornin fellas I will distroy my door! | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-13, 21:54 | |
|
One morning at a doctor's office Akpos arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK,
what happened to your back?" Akpos replies "You know that I work for a local night club right? This morning I got home to my apartmentearly and heard a noisein my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back" The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient akpos looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the sametime, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge." The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do.. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?" "Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"......
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| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-16, 00:23 | |
| Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria? Akpors: 38 Sir! Teacher: 38? Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir! Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out? Johnson: 36 sir. Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo! Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38? | |
| | | Stevolat Expert
Sex : Male Posts : 4364
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-16, 04:35 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir! Teacher: 38? Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir! Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out? Johnson: 36 sir. Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo! Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38? Akpors dey very current jare | |
| | | skillin Senior
Sex : male Posts : 539 Location : Lagos
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-16, 09:00 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir! Teacher: 38? Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir! Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out? Johnson: 36 sir. Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo! Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38? love this | |
| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-16, 09:11 | |
| | |
| | | Olybra Professional
Sex : Male Posts : 2650
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-16, 12:01 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Teacher: How many States do we have in Nigeria?
Akpors: 38 Sir! Teacher: 38? Akpors: Yes, 38 Sir! Teacher: Johnson, can u help Akpors out? Johnson: 36 sir. Teacher: Correct! Akpors, can u see yourself? Olodo! Akpors: You and Johnson are the Olodos. If you add State of Osun created by Raufu Aregbesola and State of Emergency created yesterday by our Presido to the 36 States, what do you get? Is it not 38? Bro, thumb up. | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-17, 11:46 | |
|
Akpos was being discharged from Yaba Mental Hospital after the doctors thought he was finally back to normal. They put him in an Ambulance to be taken back home. They took him to Omole, as he claimed that's where he lived. Just as they approached a certain house, 2 kids dressed in school uniforms came out of the house. Akpos screamed; "Those are my children, they are going to school". A minute later a woman came out of the same house and Akpos screamed; "That's my wife, she is late for work." This time the doctors were convinced Akpos was okay and took him out of the ambulance but was still in chains. As they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the house and Akpos screamed; "Yes, that's me, i am going to my office."
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| | | Olybra Professional
Sex : Male Posts : 2650
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-17, 12:57 | |
| Akpos is hallucinating as a result of psychosis. | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-17, 13:51 | |
| - Olybra wrote:
- Akpos is hallucinating as a result of psychosis.
hmmm! | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-18, 12:54 | |
| Akpors: MTN people dey chop our money too much Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too much Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using phone, why don't we use a pigeon in sending messages like the old time, just tie your message to it's leg if you want to reply Ekaitte: I like what is in your head. After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few minutes it comes back, she quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no message again, she sent it back. After some few minutes, she opened the window for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but still no message. With too much anger, she headed to Akpors house and shouted "Akpors come here, you idiot, you said you will send message throughthis pigeon but why the three times it came to me, no message?! Akpors: You don't get it oooh... It's 3 missed calls not message | |
| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-18, 13:05 | |
| | |
| | | austin kofi boakye Senior
Posts : 835 Location : odo oba
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-18, 17:01 | |
| | |
| | | peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-18, 17:28 | |
| - fxprof wrote:
- Akpors: MTN people dey chop our
money too much Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too much Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using phone, why don't we use a pigeon in sending messages like the old time, just tie your message to it's leg if you want to reply Ekaitte: I like what is in your head. After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few minutes it comes back, she quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no message again, she sent it back. After some few minutes, she opened the window for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but still no message. With too much anger, she headed to Akpors house and shouted "Akpors come here, you idiot, you said you will send message throughthis pigeon but why the three times it came to me, no message?! Akpors: You don't get it oooh... It's 3 missed calls not message hahahaha, funny! | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-19, 08:24 | |
|
Akpors sits next to a girl on a table in a hotel
Akpors: hello madam? Lady: what is it? Akpors: sorry madam , just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch? Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time Akpors: but madam Lady: shut up!!!
Akpors takes out his Apple phone and makes call Akpors: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens*
Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens* Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok bye
Lady: sir the time is .....(interrupted).. Akpors: shut up !!!!!
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| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-22, 01:29 | |
| Akpos,Rev Father and d grave yard interesting.... Two friends were passing tru d grave yard,dey saw a vry big mango tree full of ripe mangos,dey paused alittle looked around didn't see any1 passing,dey nw climbed d tree nd started plucking d mangos til it filled a bag dey wia holding,dey nw decided to carry d tin to wia dey wil shear d mangos,1 suggested 4 dem to inside d grave yard so dat no 1 wil see dem,dey nw slowly enter d grave yard tru d front GATE,as dey wia passing d gate 2 mangos fell on d floor,dey left it den settled down in d grave yard nd started shearing d mangos,as dey wia shearing dem d main man Akpos was nw passing tru d gate of d grave yard,he was hearing a tiny noise 4rm d grave yard he paused a little ful of fear nd started listening,wot he was hearing was"1 for me,1 for u""1 for me,1 for u"fear entered Akpos body he quietly started running to dia village rev Father...he got dia shouting father come nd see wia God nd d devil are shearing dead bodies at d grave yard,immediately father nd Akpos nw ran bck to d grave yard and stood infront of d gate,akpos told father pls listen,dey paused nw started listening,d voices continued"1 for me 1 for u""1 for me,1 for u"after a yl d voiced stoped alittle,d next tin dat Akpos nd d rev Father heard was "hey!! Wot of d 2 at d gate" .. ... .... ....seee run!!!! Akpos nd d rev father took off,d Rev father even dnt no wen his bible fell of his hand as dey wia running dey wia shouting pls oh we are stil alive oh,we ar nt dead body oh!!!!!nt knwing dey wia talking of d 2 mangos dat droped at d gate lolzzzzzzzzzz Hav a lovely night pals. | |
| | | fxprof Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1226 Location : Lasgidi/uk
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-22, 01:38 | |
| Akpos family nd d slaping robot Akpos Dad bot a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie. He decides 2 test it @ dinner. Papa Akpos : Son, where were u today during school hours ? Akpos : At School. Robot slaps son! Ok, I lied, I went to the movies. Papa Akpos : Which one ? Akpos : Toy Story. Robot slaps son again! Ok, it was porn movie. Papa Akpos : What ?! When I was ur age, I never watched such films.... Robot slaps akpos papa! Mama Akpos : Ha ha ha ha! After all he's ur son. Robot slaps mom!! Total silence..!! 1 word 4 Akpos family...
nitey nitey again... | |
| | | Stevolat Expert
Sex : Male Posts : 4364
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-22, 04:00 | |
| Akpos wont stop putting smiles 2 our face | |
| | | sunnydevess Professional
Sex : male Posts : 2639
| Subject: Re: Akpos D Comedian 2013-05-22, 08:03 | |
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