7 Reasons why women date terrible men

Not every woman is lucky enough to get the ideal guy at the
first try. For those of us who have had our fair share of dating
woes, we may look back on some times when we should have
showed a little more prudence in choosing the men we date.
Life, in general is all about trial and error. But you may be
wondering why there are some women, whether they’re your
close friends or relatives, who always seem to keep
themselves in the cycle of dating men who don’t seem to
know how to treat a woman well.
7 reasons why so many women date bad men
There’s a saying that says we should date a bad man at least
once in our lives so that we can be thankful for a good one.
It’s actually sound advice. But what about those women who
always seem to go into a constant pattern of dating really
awful men? What about those women who date the deadbeat
loser? The perpetual cheater? The cheap sleaze?
In this list, we’d like to shine some light on the reasons
behind those women’s decisions to choose the awful guys.
#1 She feels like it’s the best she can do. There are some
women who may seem successful and happy on the outside,
but on the inside, they feel insecure and unsure of themselves.
Low self-esteem issues are usually the root of the problem
here. Since she doesn’t think she deserves better, she ends up
having relationships with guys who aren’t really worth her
time.
After a series of relationships with men who don’t value her,
she may start to believe that pain and love go hand in hand.
Whenever an opportunity arises where she meets a man who
treats her well, she’s suspicious of the affections as they’re
new to her. Unless she breaks the cycle of low self-esteem,
she may continue to date men who treat her badly.
#2 The guy does something for her that she can’t let go of.
A common example here is when a woman is in a relationship
with a rich man who doesn’t treat her well. She feels
financially stable with him by her side. She is able to buy
things she wants, and she may also be able to help her family
with their finances.
In the case of other women, money can be replaced by all
sorts of things, from power to intelligence to very specific
traits. Since she has found a guy who has something she
needs, she stays in the relationship. Even if he doesn’t treat
her as well as he should, she can’t seem to let go because she
believes that she won’t find what she needs in other men.
#3 Her family likes him. Sometimes, the pressure a woman
faces from her family may be enough to make her stay in a
relationship with someone who doesn’t treat her well. This is
often the case for women who belong to very traditional
families. But even if she’s not from a traditional family, the
fact that her family finally likes a guy she’s dating may
greatly tip the scales in the guy’s favor.
The problem with this is that the guy may seem charming and
wonderful whenever he’s around her family. But behind
closed doors, he may not be as great as he appears. In cases
like this, she would need to decide if her family’s approval
means more to her than her own happiness.
#4 He was her dream guy… At least on the outside. The
dream guy girls often go nuts over are influenced largely by
the type of media they take in. Take a girl who watches a
movie about an aloof guy and the girl who’s practically doing
handstands just to get his attention. If she sees this pattern
often enough, she can start to believe that this is how
relationships are supposed to be like. That guy she sees on TV
can embody just about any typical stereotype such as the bad
boy, the rich guy, the frat boy, etc.
Fast forward to
the future, and
she finds the guy
who embodies
those dreamy
guys she has
conditioned
herself to fall for.
Of course, if
given the chance,
she’d say yes in
an instant. The
problem with
wishing for a TV
ending is that this wish is hardly ever granted. In time, she
will realize that men and dating are more complex than what
the media portrays it to be. In time, her experiences may be
enough to make her snap out of the “dream guy” mentality.
#5 She’s afraid to be alone. There’s nothing wrong with
being single. However, some women find this hard to believe.
These women often feel like they’re unloved and unworthy
whenever they don’t have a guy around to be at their beck
and call. So what happens when she suddenly finds that she’s
single? She grabs the first guy she can get and practically
clings to him.
She’s lucky if the guy she grabbed is quite a catch. But
oftentimes, the guys that are easy to lure into a relationship
are the ones who find it hard to be in a relationship. In other
words, not a lot of ladies want them.
Another case of being afraid to be alone is staying in a
relationship with a guy who’s not that great. And by not that
great, we mean he’s pretty awful. With her fear of being
alone, she chooses to stick by the guy no matter what. In this
case, it’s a matter of choosing whether she wants to put up
with her current relationship or face being alone in order to
break away from a bad boyfriend.
#6 She thinks she can change him. This is the subject of so
many rom-coms that it’s even its own subgenre. Women get a
huge ego boost when they feel that that they can change a
man for the better. Whether he’s a douchebag jock, an
emotionally distant corporate executive, an uncouth loser or
just a guy who can’t get a date, possibly being able to
transform him into her perfect guy is enough to give her the
patience to try.
The problem with this is that some habits die hard. She may
try to change his appearance and the way he walks and talks.
But she can’t change what’s within him. If it’s in his
personality to be misogynistic, racist, abusive or whatever
horrible adjective you can think of, it’s only a matter of
provoking him at the right instant until he switches back to
his old self.
#7 She has been with him for a long time. The start of the
relationship may have been the stuff of fairytales. He was a
gentleman. He treated her like a princess. He is the boyfriend
that every other woman would be jealous of. But fast forward
to a couple of years, and things can start to change for the
worse.
A relationship can take its toll on a guy, even if his lady does
her best to keep everything together. After a while, the
romance dies out and it gets replaced by the banality of the
typical relationship. Of course, the changes occur slowly and
gradually.
If left to his own devices, a guy may feel bored and restless,
and he can take this out on his girlfriend. But since she has
always stood by him through his bad moods and their rough
patches, it becomes increasingly harder for her to leave. After
all, she’s put up with everything for years. Why stop now?
There may be many other reasons why a woman may date a
bad man, but almost always, it’s these 7 reasons that
reverberate in bad boyfriend stories all the time. So
remember, don’t look for an excuse to date a bad guy, instead
find the right reasons to stay!
– Michelle Escultura/LovePanky