Author | Message |
---|
Mummiesboiii Senior
Sex : male Posts : 927
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-21, 19:56 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-22, 06:14 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-22, 06:14 | |
| | |
|
| |
ancl Master
Posts : 17355
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-22, 06:23 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-25, 05:43 | |
| BOY: Hey pretty girl GIRL: Hi BOY: I want to take you out. GIRL: I have a boyfriend. BOY: Too bad. I was thinking of taking you out on a vacation to London GIRL: My boyfriend is dead! #Good_Morning_Peepz | |
|
| |
ancl Master
Posts : 17355
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-26, 05:37 | |
| | |
|
| |
ekerin oye4 Senior
Sex : male Posts : 1138 Location : Ib city
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-27, 00:31 | |
| JOB WAHALA FOR NAIJA!!! A graduate in Biology from University of Benin was having difficulty in finding a job. He saw an advert in one of the daily newspapers for a job at a zoo. In the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla, which had been tourists attraction has died so they needed someone to dress up & pretend as gorilla. The graduate was embarrassed, but since the salary was OK, he accepted the job. The 1st day, he put on the gorilla skin & entered the cage, he started jumping up and down, beat his chest & roared like gorilla. The next day, he put on a gorilla skin & started moving around the zoo again & mistakenly entered another cage and found himself staring at a lion. The lion roared & rushed towards him. The scared graduate quickly forgot that he is a gorilla & started shouting like human, "Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto him,knocked him to the ground & whispered in his ear "sodiq" it's me lekan, ur course mate. Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs. | |
|
| |
ancl Master
Posts : 17355
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-27, 05:42 | |
| Roung post at roung thread | |
|
| |
peter pan Master
Posts : 10992 Location : UNITED
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-27, 05:45 | |
| | |
|
| |
ekerin oye4 Senior
Sex : male Posts : 1138 Location : Ib city
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-27, 16:10 | |
| An Ijebu Engineer can't find a job, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR 20k - IF NOT CURED, GET BACK 100k. A self-believed smart Lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn 100k and goes to the clinic... LAWYER: "I have lost my sense of taste" IJEBU MAN: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No.22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth" LAWYER: "Urgh... this is kerosene!!!" IJEBU MAN: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored... Give me 20k" The annoyed Lawyer goes back after a few days with the intent of recovering his money... LAWYER: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything" IJEBU MAN: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth" LAWYER (annoyed): "This is kerosene! You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste" IJEBU MAN: "Congrats. You got your memory back... Give me 20k" The fuming Lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back a 100k. LAWYER: "My eyesight has become very weak". IJEBU MAN: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this 100k" LAWYER (staring at the cash): "But this is 20k, not 100k" IJEBU MAN: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me 20k" *ROTFL* *ROTFL* *ROTFL* *ROTFL* *ROTFL* *ROTFL* *ROTFL* *ROTFL* MORAL: You can't beat an Ijebu man. =-D Have a Blessed and Fulfilled day.
| |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-27, 21:08 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-27, 22:48 | |
| | |
|
| |
ancl Master
Posts : 17355
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-01-28, 05:46 | |
| Akpos, a newly married couple brought a female house help from the village to assist in keeping their home tidy so they would have time for their careers and other more important things.One day, Akpos decided to give his wife a surprise package. He molded a big heart(to represent love) with the assistance of the house help, a project which took almost the whole day. Madam came back and met the house help sleeping and snoring: MADAM: Will you get up now! Stupid girl! What have you been doing since morning? HOUSE HELP: Madam welcome. No vex abeg. Me and Oga dey make love since morning. Na just now now we finish e say make I lie down small. Please what do you think happens next?
| |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-02, 04:00 | |
| Teacher: If you had 5 apples in your plate and the boy next to you took two, what would you get...??? Mac: A fight. | |
|
| |
ancl Master
Posts : 17355
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-02, 06:16 | |
| | |
|
| |
SUREMAJESTY Senior
Sex : Male Posts : 964
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-02, 17:30 | |
| How can someone laugh up ro thousands | |
|
| |
The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message |
awogbemiawise Novice
Sex : male Posts : 10 Location : IJEBU OGUN STATE
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-02, 18:11 | |
| BAD DREAM IS THE SIGN OF SPIRITUAL ATTACKS,HAVING SEX ON DREAM OR SEEING YOURSELF IN PRIMARY AND SECONDARY SCHOOL WHERE YOU HAVE LEFT A LONG AGO ON DREAM IS VERY BAD,YOU ARE IN THE CITY AND SEEING YOURSELF IN THE VILLAGE OR BUSH,THIS TYPE OF DREAMS ARE VERY TERIBLE SIGN OF BACKWARDNESS NO MATTER HOW RICHES OR HOW WEALTH YOU ARE,TAKE NOTE OF THIS DONT LET IT OVERCOME YOU BEFORE IT LATE..CALL BABA AWOGBEMI NATIVE DOCTOR ON 08067194275 08067194275 FOR MORE AND HOW TO SOLVE...GOD IS THE CREATOR OF THE HEAVEN AND EARTH,THE CREATOR OF RIVERS,ANIMALS AND LEAVES ..HUMAN BEING ARE CREATED LAST AND WE ARE THE MOST WICKED ON EARTH ..I PRAYED TO GOD THAT ANY OF US WE NOT BE RE-CREATED BY THE WICKED HUMAN BEING AMEN ...IN ANY WAYS YOU ARE SUFFERING CALL BABA AWOGBEMI AWISE ON ... ....FOR ASSISTANT AND HEALING.......EVERYTHING GOD HAVE DONE IS VERY GREAT,BUT ENEMIES CHANGE THE GREATNESS IN HUMAN BEING AND TURN THE PERSON TO A RECKLESS PERSON..ANY POWER THAT WANT TO CHANGE YOUR GREATNESS WILL BE BURIED...FOR THOSE THAT HAVE SOME PROBLEMS..FINANCIALLY,HEATH,BUSINESS,PROMOTION,SPIRITUAL ATTACK OR YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR A POST FOR LONG TIME..COME NOW BY THE POWER OF GOD AND THE POWER OF ROOTS AND LEAVES IT SHALL BE WELL WITH YOU THANK YOU FOR READING CALL BABA AWOGBEMI NATIVE DOCTOR ON 08067194275 08067194275 08067194275 08067194275 | |
|
| |
Mummiesboiii Senior
Sex : male Posts : 927
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-02, 20:11 | |
| | |
|
| |
SUREMAJESTY Senior
Sex : Male Posts : 964
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-02, 20:44 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-08, 17:56 | |
| ENGLISH PASS ENGLISH A professor drove into a Petrol Station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports.
-Professor: Guy, abeg, give me full tank.
-Fuel Attendant: Sir, I don't speak pidgin, I only speak English.
- Professor: Ok! Good morning, I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Therefore i cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptable of the said means of perambulation to the brim. -Fuel Attendant: Oga na play i dey play o, how much fuel you wan buy? | |
|
| |
Mummiesboiii Senior
Sex : male Posts : 927
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-08, 18:50 | |
| | |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-08, 22:23 | |
| | |
|
| |
smile2012 Ultimate
Sex : male Posts : 20755 Location : lag
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-09, 07:04 | |
| | |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-09, 07:48 | |
| | |
|
| |
Mummiesboiii Senior
Sex : male Posts : 927
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-09, 20:09 | |
| Then mayb sumtin is wrong sum wea, if it nt funny to u | |
|
| |
ancl Master
Posts : 17355
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-10, 05:40 | |
| | |
|
| |
Mummiesboiii Senior
Sex : male Posts : 927
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-10, 20:41 | |
| | |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-12, 07:03 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-13, 15:37 | |
| On phone Teacher: You say Michael has a cold and cant come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father. | |
|
| |
smile2012 Ultimate
Sex : male Posts : 20755 Location : lag
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-14, 18:37 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-14, 22:35 | |
| I ran into a mosque carrying a brand new cutlass and asked, "Who is a Muslim here?" The whole mosque went as silent as a grave yard. I asked again, "How can a full mosque have no Muslim?". No one replied. Then I grabbed the nearby young man and went out with him and told him, "Come and help me kill my ram for Ileya because I don't know how to do it". After the young man had killed the ram, he told me that he didn't know how to skin it and that I should go back to the mosque and get someone else to help me do that. I returned to the mosque with the cutlass dripping with blood. When the Imam saw me in the mosque with blood dripping from my cutlass, he immediately shouted, "My Brothers in Christ, praise thy Lord o!". The whole mosque responded, "Halleluyah!!! | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-14, 23:49 | |
| ME AND SMARTPHONE. I saved my girlfriend's contact with her real name on my phonebook but usually when i pick her call i say "HI LOVE".... . So yesterday, i ran out of airtime while talking to her, so i had to use my friend's phone to call her without his notice, when i dialed her number on his phone, it displayed "MY LOVE". . . So i was wondering how that smartphone knew i was calling her. . Smart phones are really smart ooo!!! #lol | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-16, 07:30 | |
| Girl: I have been thinking of you all evening.
Boy: We talked for an hour just few minutes ago,
Girl: Oh shit, did I call you again..
GoodMorning.... | |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-16, 13:43 | |
| | |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-02-16, 21:34 | |
| A little boy was ordered to pray in d night prayer. boy:: I Don't know how to pray... Dad:: just pray 4 every thing u know in d family and our neighbours. boy::Mummy, pls, tell Daddy I cant pray. Mummy:: shut up, if u don't pray u'll not eat food in dis house. Boy:: dad, tell sis to pray pls. Dad:: my frd, pray b4 i slap u now. Boy::'Dear Lord' he started..... , thank u for our visitors & their children who come here to eat our food, don't let them finish all our food. From today, any boy who beats or slaps me in school, help me to slap them back. Forgive our driver who i always see naked with my sis wrestling on d bed. Pls, provide clothes to all the naked ladies on my daddy's phone. Don't let our house girl put her mouth inside my daddy's mouth again. Pls, provide shelter for all the men who sleep in Mum's room any time dad travels. In Jesus Name. Amen. Nobody want to shout amen. Every body regretted ever forcing him to pray. DESCRIBE THE BOY WITH ONE WORD | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-04, 22:10 | |
| Wanted to use my ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated me called my bank help line. Me: (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card. Call girl : Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken? Me: Are you insane? What are you insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do. Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt? Me: You dey mad? ATM card wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card. #GoodNight.... | |
|
| |
donT72 Enthusiast
Sex : male Posts : 1849
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-05, 06:34 | |
| Laminating of ATM card hahhahahahahahahahh | |
|
| |
FREDRICKEBUN Senior
Sex : M Posts : 1312 Location : ESE/ODO
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-06, 06:31 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-12, 04:42 | |
| Hungry and Broke There were three men living together in London. An Afro- American, a West Indian and a Nigerian. They were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food. However upon coming close to a posh London restaurant in this classy neighbourhood, they decided to come up with a plan. The Afro-American went in first. After being seated, he ordered a three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal, the waiter came by with the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN, I ALREADY PAID YOU!" - the Afro- American shouted! The waiter was very confused because he could not remember being paid. But because he did not want to cause any trouble, he let the brother leave. Five minutes later, the West Indian walked into the same restaurant and ordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for the food. "HEY, HEY, LOOK AT ME CROSSES. BUT AH PAID YOU ALREADY!" - the West Indian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down the West Indian, because he did not want anything to upset the other customers. He let the guy go. Ten minutes later, the Nigerian walked in. And you know how we are. He sat down. Lit up a cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, plus two bottles of Beer. After he had finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal, But before the Nigerian could say anything, the waiter spoke to him."Sir, I have been having all sorts of problems all day and I can't understand it. Two other people like you came in earlier and ate, and they say that they paid me but I don't remember getting any money from them so, " Before he could finish, the Nigerian interrupted, rather emphatically, "OGA I SORRY FOR YOU OOOO. BUT DAT NA YOUR PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MY CHANGE!!" | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-12, 19:13 | |
| A corrupt local government chairman passed away and a new one was appointed to take his place. When the replacement took charge, the citizens complained that the previous chairman was so corrupt that he got money sanctioned for a community center building, but used the money for himself instead of constructing the center. The new chairman promised to look into the matter and found that it was true. So he promptly had more money sanctioned to get the building demolished.
| |
|
| |
delafirst Leader
Sex : mele Posts : 5418 Location : Accra
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-13, 12:02 | |
| | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-16, 23:13 | |
| My Girlfriend by Ayusguy on Mon,16/5/2016 One night, I was strolling with my girlfriend when a Range Rover S. packed beside us and wind down, he signalled to my girl to come but she turned and looked at me and I being a gentle man nodded in agreement for her to go, after all, I trusted her completely. After few minutes of conversation which I couldn't hear, I saw my girlfriend opened the door and entered. I was shocked! I went to them and said, "Wha's the meaning of this?!"They just sat in the car looking at me as if Iwas an idiot.I became angrier when I saw the stupid guy laughing at me, I shouted at my girl and ordered her to come down from the car at once. She shrugged and calmly said, "Please Ayusguy, stop embarrassing yourself! Go home and I will send you recharge card later."I didn't know when I fainted! #GoodNight....... | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-20, 03:37 | |
| Gbenga Adeboye told us about one white man that came for tourism in Abeokuta during the Masquerade festival. As he was taking the Oyinbo man round the town, they came across a magical masquerade who was performing on the street. His drummers were eulogising him as follows:You can't do like your father Or can you do like your father? If you can do like your father Use your head to dance (the masquerade then used his head to dance and everyone hailed him) If you can do like your father Do many acrobatic display in a jiffy (he did more than enough, everyone was shouting and hailing him) But the drummers will not let go.... "If you can do like your father, let someone bring out his gun and shoot you and you must not die...." Then someone came out from the crowd with his long gun and directed towards the masquerade.... the masquerade was unperturbed. Everyone was shouting "shoot shoot", the masquerade too said "shoot me shoot me" and gbuaaaa!!! Gunshot but the masquerade didn't fall down, he kept dancing and then another one TAKOOOOO.....!!!! The masquerade still didn't fall but kept dancing......The singers and drummers kept hailing him in 9s and 10s..... "We shouldn't envy a child because he resembles his father, this masquerade resembles his father too much..... we shouldn't envy a child because he resembles his father...." The white man became so excited! "Oh I love Africa..... This is beautiful...." and suddenly, the white man brought out his own pistol too to test the masquerade... he was going towards the direction of the masquerade, everyone was hailing the masquerade and urging the oyinbo to shoot! On sighting the Oyinbo man, the masquerade quickly called his coordinator asking him quietly in his usual deep voice "Atokun kilo nsele? This whiteman is a member of our team ni???"...... the coordinator said no. Then the masquerade told him "And you are watching him to shoot me with a real gun? Na sango kill you? No let am shoot me o" While the conversation was on, the drummers kept drumming: "Do it, that is what a man does. Do it. Do like your father..." The masquerade then turned to the drummers "e no wan better for una ni? Have your ever seen oyinbo shoot my father before? E ya were ni..?" Then Adeboye moved in and went to the masquerade saying "but you're from heaven now, why are you afraid of oyinbo gun. Patapata you go back home" The masquerade quickly appealed to Adeboye.... "Haba Buoda Gbenga, you don't know me again for Adatan.... na me be Ifakorede the son of Egunleti for Adatan.....I'm not from heaven o! Tell your friend not to shoot me o, na beg I dey beg una o. The man wey shoot the other time na band member o, we don rehearse for house o, na only etu dey hin gun no be bullet o, my children are young o...."!!!!. Lol...... | |
|
| |
Ayusguy Enthusiast
Sex : Male Posts : 1892 Location : TheWord.Nation
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY 2016-05-29, 04:01 | |
| """BRAIN TEASER""" 98% of the people in the world couldn't solve it.
Facts: 1. There are 5 houses (along a street) in 5 different colors: blue, green, red, white and yellow.
2. In each house lives a person of a different nationality: Brit, Dane, German, Norwegian and Swede.
3. These 5 owners drink a certain beverage: beer, coffee, milk, tea and water; smoke a certain brand of cigar: Blue Master, Dunhill, Pall Mall, Prince and blend; and keep a certain pet: cat, bird, dog, fish and horse. 4. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.
Hints: 1. The Brit lives in a red house. 2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets. 3. The Dane drinks tea. 4. The green house is on the left of the white house (next to it). 5. The green house owner drinks coffee. 6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds. 7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill. 8. The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk. 9. The Norwegian lives in the first house. 10. The man who smokes blend lives next to the one who keeps cats. 11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill. 12. The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer. 13. The German smokes Prince. 14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house. 15. The man who smokes blend has a neighbor who drinks water.
The question is: Who keeps ''Fish?.. | |
|
| |
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY | |
| |
|
| |
| LAUGH OF A THOUSAND DAY | |
|