Dinner Mess

DURING LUNCH AT WORK LAST WEEK, I ATE 3 PLATES OF BEANS WHICH I KNOW I SHOULDN'T AV TAKEN DAT MUCH. WHEN I GOT HOME, MA HUSBAND SEEMED EXCITED 2 C ME BCOS DAT DAY HAPPEN 2 B MA BIRTHDAY, N EXCLAIMED DELIGHTED:
"DARLING I AV A SURPRISE 4 DINNER 2NITE." HE THEN TIED A BLINDFOLD ON ME N LED ME 2 MA CHAIR AT THE DINNER TABLE. I TOOK A SEAT AND JUST AS HE WS ABT TO REMOVE MY BLINDFOLD, THE TELEPHONE RANG. HE MADE ME PROMISE NOT 2 TOUCH THE BLINDFOLD UNTIL HE RETURNED AND WENT 2 ANS THE CALL. THE BEANS I HAD CONSUMED WERE STILL AFFECTING ME AND THE PRESSURE WAS BECOMING UNBEARABLE, SO WHILE MY HUSBAND WAS OUT OF THE ROOM I SEIZED THE OPPORTUNITY, SHIFTED MY WEIGHT 2 1 LEG AND LET ONE MESS GO. IT WS NOT ONLY LOUD, BT IT SMELLED LYK A FERTILISER TRUCK RUNNING OVER A SKUNK IN FRONT OR A GARBAGE DUMP! I TOOK MY NAPKIN FROM MY LAP AND FANNED THE AIR AROUND ME VIGOROUSLY. THEN, SHIFTING TO THE OTHER LEG, I RIPPED OFF TREE MORE. THE STINK WS WORSE THAN COOKED CABBAGE. KEEPING MY EARS CAREFULLY TUNED 2 THE OTHER CONVERSATION IN THE OTHER ROOM, I WENT ON RELEASING THE MESS LYK ATOMIC BOMBS LYK THIS FOR ANOTHER FEW MINUTES. THE PLEASURE WS INDESCRIBABLE! EVENTUALLY THE TELEPHONE FAREWELLS SIGNALED THE END OF MY FREEDOM, SO I QUICKLY FANNED THE AIR A FEW MORE TYM WIT MY NAPKIN, PLACE IT ON MY LAP AND FOLDED MY HANDS BACK ON IT FEELING VERY RELIEVED AND PLEASED WIT MYSELF. MY FACE MUST AV BEEN THE PICTURE OF INNOCENCE WHEN MY HUSBAND RETURNED, APOLOGIZING 4 TAKING SO LONG. HE ASKED ME IF I HAD PEEPED THROUGH THE BLINDFOLD, AND I ASSURED HIM I HAD NT. AT THIS POINT, HE REMOVED THE BLINDFOLD, AND 12 DINNER GUESTS SEATED AROUND THE TABLE, WIT THEIR HAND 2 THEIR NOSES AS A RESULT OF THE STENCH IN THE AIR. IF YOU WERE THE LADY WHAT WOULD YOU DO AFTER SEEING THE GUEST?
JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH!!!!!!

Old joke