Akpos D Comedian

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A Dedicated thread for Akpos d Comedian.......


Let Have Fun.......................







Fynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy akpos caught uploading pix on fb

JOB INTERVIEW. INTERVIEWER: Tell me the opposite of good. AKPOS: Bad. INTERVIEWER: Come. AKPOS: Go. INTERVIEWER: Ugly. AKPOS: Fine. INTERVIEWER: You are wrong! AKPOS: You are right! INTERVIEWER: Shut up! AKPOS: Keep talking! INTERVIEWER: Ok now stop all that. AKPOS: Ok now carry on all that. INTERVIEWER: Get out! AKPOS: Come in! INTERVIEWER: Oh my GOD. AKPOS: Oh my devil. INTERVIEWER: You are rejected. AKPOS: Im selected.

Fishegg45 wrote:

JOB INTERVIEW. INTERVIEWER: Tell me the opposite of good. AKPOS: Bad. INTERVIEWER: Come. AKPOS: Go. INTERVIEWER: Ugly. AKPOS: Fine. INTERVIEWER: You are wrong! AKPOS: You are right! INTERVIEWER: Shut up! AKPOS: Keep talking! INTERVIEWER: Ok now stop all that. AKPOS: Ok now carry on all that. INTERVIEWER: Get out! AKPOS: Come in! INTERVIEWER: Oh my GOD. AKPOS: Oh my devil. INTERVIEWER: You are rejected. AKPOS: Im selected.

akpos be too much.

Akpors na mad

OKON: I saw a strap of your bra.
TEACHER: Okon Get out! No class for you for a
week!
[Another Boy laughs]
TEACHER: Why did you laugh?
BOY: I saw both straps of d bra.
TEACHER: Get out! No class for you for 1 month!
[Teacher bends down to pick chalk & Akpos
started walking
out]
TEACHER: Akpos, why are you going out?
AKPOS: What I saw just now, I think my school
days are over!

The hilarious Akpos, what did it see the hollow of the breast or what...what a funny character

Akpos really saw something.

Lordomasia wrote:

Akpos really saw something.

AKPORS SAW BREAST

Lordomasia wrote:

Akpos really saw something.

AKPORS SAW BREAST

AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ

Q: who is judas?
Akpos: a farmer and vegetarian.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos judas eats carrot.
Q: where is judas from?
Akpos: Nigeria.
Q: which tribe?
Akpos: igbo.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos he loves money.
Q: what is Lazarus surname?
Akpos: Comfort.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos wen Jesus came to his grave, He shouted "Lazarus Comfort".
Q: who are the brothers of Lazarus that climb the tree to see Jesus?
Akpos: Aki n Popo.
Q: why?
Akpos: because he is a short man.
Q: complete this bible quote, "many are called but..."
Akpos: many are called but few have the credit to call back.

...

Hahahahaaaaaaaa!!!
Akpors my man.

who be dis Akpors,old boy you don suffer,ur name dey ring bell,like Terry Gee.

Hmmmmmm!!! Say that again

Akpors call customer care by 1am. After 30mins of advert finally akpors comes on line. Customer care ...hello this kingsley from mtn customer care how can I help u. Akpors..god punish u. Customer care...sorry sir dats not polite wats the problem akpors..na me u de ask? Check ur time wetin de nack customer care ..sir dis 1:30am. Akpors..so why u no dey sleep u bewinch? Customer care..no sir am not a. wizard. Akpors...den wetin u be others neva sleep finish? Customer care..sir pls go straight to the reason why u called Akpors..ok. I get#99 for my fone abeg transfer me #1 naira make I take make midnight call. Who cum be winch?

akpos trimuch

Akpos na real M-U-M-U

Breathe deeply in and slowly exhale, do it 3 times. Akpos: ok. Nurse: Wat do u feel now?Akpos: ur BODY SPRAY is simply superb babe

Akpos buys 5 of d same-color of pants for his wife.Wife:Ah!Same color?Ppl will think i dnt change my panties.Akpos:Which ppl?

Interviewer: Where can you see yourself in 10 years? Akpos: A mirror

lawalahmed wrote:

CASHIER: This is the 5th same movie ticket you've bought tonight Sir, Why please? AKPOS: The Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it

lwkmd, i said it.

Akpos was sitting outside his Father's House
eating chocolate bars.

An old Man was sitting close to him. Akpos ate
six, as he was about to eat the seventh bar
the man said; "Do you know chocolate will
spoil your teeth and even make you fat?"

Akpos said; My grandfather lived 110 years.

The Man asked; Was he eating as much
chocolate as you are now?

Akpos replied; No, he was minding his
business.

Akpors wife noticed Akpors movement, one day akpors was about going to his Girl friend's house.. So he parked his car infront of a chemist shop,he wanted buying a condom.. he told the pharmacist `hey bring me 2 packs' suddenly he heared his wife voice from the back seat, `honey,what do you want to do with the 2 packs??.. Shocked,akpors shouted again to the pharmacist, `hey i meant,do you have 2pack music?... The wife asked him, `do they sell 2pack music in apharmacist shop?.. Akpors retold the pharmacist who was inside the shop, `are you selling music??.. The pharmacist replied, `no sir'.. Akpors said, `sorry i taught you were selling music'..

Akpos don sufer!

lawalahmed wrote:

Akpos was sitting outside his Father's Houseeating chocolate bars.An old Man was sitting close to him. Akpos atesix, as he was about to eat the seventh barthe man said; "Do you know chocolate willspoil your teeth and even make you fat?"Akpos said; My grandfather lived 110 years.The Man asked; Was he eating as muchchocolate as you are now?Akpos replied; No, he was minding hisbusiness.

na true talk booooo.

Lottodream wrote:

lawalahmed wrote:

Akpos was sitting outside his Father's Houseeating chocolate bars.An old Man was sitting close to him. Akpos atesix, as he was about to eat the seventh barthe man said; "Do you know chocolate willspoil your teeth and even make you fat?"Akpos said; My grandfather lived 110 years.The Man asked; Was he eating as muchchocolate as you are now?Akpos replied; No, he was minding hisbusiness.

na true talk booooo.

hahahahaha

Teacher : What is the name of the Capital City of
Somalia ?
Akpos: Bomb Blast.
Teacher : You are Wrong, You need to focus more
on your studies.
Àkpos: (ANGRY) Please madam, can I ask u a few
questions.
Teacher : Yes, go ahead.
Akpos: Do u know Tracy ?
Teacher : No.
Akpos: Do u know Blessing ?
Teacher : No.
Akpos: Do u know Ruth ?
Teacher : (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people
and why do u ask ?
Akpos: Teacher, You need to Focus more on your
husband.

Ashawo wrote:

Teacher : What is the name of the Capital City of
Somalia ?
Akpos: Bomb Blast.
Teacher : You are Wrong, You need to focus more
on your studies.
Àkpos: (ANGRY) Please madam, can I ask u a few
questions.
Teacher : Yes, go ahead.
Akpos: Do u know Tracy ?
Teacher : No.
Akpos: Do u know Blessing ?
Teacher : No.
Akpos: Do u know Ruth ?
Teacher : (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people
and why do u ask ?
Akpos: Teacher, You need to Focus more on your
husband.

now akpos don dey gossip.

Lordomasia wrote:

Ashawo wrote:

Teacher : What is the name of the Capital City ofSomalia ?Akpos: Bomb Blast.Teacher : You are Wrong, You need to focus moreon your studies.Àkpos: (ANGRY) Please madam, can I ask u a fewquestions.Teacher : Yes, go ahead.Akpos: Do u know Tracy ?Teacher : No.Akpos: Do u know Blessing ?Teacher : No.Akpos: Do u know Ruth ?Teacher : (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these peopleand why do u ask ?Akpos: Teacher, You need to Focus more on yourhusband.

now akpos don dey gossip.

na sooo akpos,they puck nose for watin nor concern am.

Ashawo wrote:

Teacher : What is the name of the Capital City of
Somalia ?
Akpos: Bomb Blast.
Teacher : You are Wrong, You need to focus more
on your studies.
Àkpos: (ANGRY) Please madam, can I ask u a few
questions.
Teacher : Yes, go ahead.
Akpos: Do u know Tracy ?
Teacher : No.
Akpos: Do u know Blessing ?
Teacher : No.
Akpos: Do u know Ruth ?
Teacher : (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people
and why do u ask ?
Akpos: Teacher, You need to Focus more on your
husband.

how did akpos know about her husbands escapades with other women? this akpos na case.

Akos is a nose-poker!

Akpos don dey do expo

DPO: you have been transfered to maiduguri
AKPOS: sir, i don resign since yesterday

Akpos da fear to die

udge to Akpors:
Do you want to live
with your
mother?
Akpors: No
Judge: Why?
Akpors: she beats me Judge: Okay, so you want to live with
your Dad?
Akpors: No
Judge: Why not?
Akpors: He beats me too
Judge: So who do you want to live
with?
Akpors: SUPER EAGLES
Judge: Why .
.
.
.
.
Akpors: They never beat anyone!

Lottodream wrote:

Akpos da fear to die

akpos na coward

microsat wrote:

udge to Akpors:
Do you want to live
with your
mother?
Akpors: No
Judge: Why?
Akpors: she beats me Judge: Okay, so you want to live with
your Dad?
Akpors: No
Judge: Why not?
Akpors: He beats me too
Judge: So who do you want to live
with?
Akpors: SUPER EAGLES
Judge: Why .
.
.
.
.
Akpors: They never beat anyone!

up super eagles

hibeeke wrote:

microsat wrote:

udge to Akpors:
Do you want to live
with your
mother?
Akpors: No
Judge: Why?
Akpors: she beats me Judge: Okay, so you want to live with
your Dad?
Akpors: No
Judge: Why not?
Akpors: He beats me too
Judge: So who do you want to live
with?
Akpors: SUPER EAGLES
Judge: Why .
.
.
.
.
Akpors: They never beat anyone!

up super eagles

Akpors is right, can't remember when last they beat any1!

Imagine this conversation with Akpos...

Chichi: Do you smoke?

Akpos: Yes....

Chichi: How many packs a day?

Akpos: 3 packs.

Chichi: How much per pack?

Akpos: N200.

Chichi: And how long have you been smoking?

Akpos: For 15 years.

Chichi: So, one pack costs N200, and you have 3 packs a day, which puts your spending each month at N18,000. In one year, it would be N216,000 correct?

Akpos: Correct.

Chichi: If in one year you spend N216,000 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at over N3,000,000 correct?

Akpos: Correct.

Chichi: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now easily bought a brand new Range Rover HSE Sport?

Akpos: Do you smoke?

Chichi: No.

Akpos: So where's your Range Rover HSE Sport then?

EKAITTE: Why is your shirt
having another lady's
perfume?
AKPORS: That querry is
rather rhetorical..
However I detest what
you are insinuating.
EKAITTE: Are you cheating
on me?
AKPORS: I haven't
breached our matrimonial
vows. Just shared a lift
with a lady and her scent
must have diffused and
precipitated to form
residue on my shirt. Just
physics at play. How many
times must I recycle the
utterance that your
genitials are the sole
destination of my seminal
fluids?
EKAITTE: You are no longer
the man I thought you
were. Lets call it quits!
AKPORS: You want us to
diverge because your
nose buds registered a
foreign scent? I said I will
abide by you better or
worse, but this has
surpassed the worse
parameter and has
encroached into the
insanity zone which was
not provided for in the
vows.. Anyway, have your
way, lets break up!
EKAITTE: Aaawww baby, I
was just jealous.. I'm
sorry!
AKPORS: I repel your
remorse sensations.. Your
infedelity claims have
battered me therefore Kindly
please radiate with your
belongings from the vicinity of
my bungalow at a simmillar speed
to light before the personnel of a
security firm forcefully does it......

dis Akpos must be a genuis he is in every faceth of life,4rm gossip to fearfull policeman & also speaks big grammer may be he is also a lawyer.

Five years into their marriage, Akpors &
his wife have had five children. Akpors
decides to see the doctor to discuss
family planning& doctor recommends
condom use...
Akpors returns to the doctor after about 9 months, complaining that his
wife has been delivered of twins!
Doctor asks....
"Did you use cd at all?"
Akpors: YES, I did.
Doctor: Ok, pls how do you use your cd?
Akpors: I use it with water, just like
paracetamol, abi I dey make mistake?
The doctor fainted!

Just This Afternoon, My Uncle And His Family were about to take lunch at the dinning table. My Uncle then said to his 4 years old Daughter; Pray for us. She quickly replied; But Daddy, i don't know how to pray. My Uncle insisted. She then started praying; Dear Father Lord God, thank you for this food and thank you for making us to see today, which is Christmas. Father Lord God please, Forgive our Family Friendswho came here yesterday and ateour food. Have mercy on our Landlord's Son who wrestled with My Sister and took off her clothesin her room a day before yesterday when Dad and Mum where not around. Lord, Today, which is Christmas, please provideclothes for all those naked Ladies in my Daddy's Blackberry and alsoprovide shelter for all those Men that comes to sleep with Mum when Dad is not at home in Jesus name, Amen.

buzz_tech wrote:

Five years into their marriage, Akpors &
his wife have had five children. Akpors
decides to see the doctor to discuss
family planning& doctor recommends
condom use...
Akpors returns to the doctor after about 9 months, complaining that his
wife has been delivered of twins!
Doctor asks....
"Did you use cd at all?"
Akpors: YES, I did.
Doctor: Ok, pls how do you use your cd?
Akpors: I use it with water, just like
paracetamol, abi I dey make mistake?
The doctor fainted!

akpos mumu, i'm so sure mumu is his surname

Quiz;

Q1: which country is next to USA

Akpos answered; USB:D Good nite n happy nite rest

Akpos always dey try and do new things. I am 100% sure that akpos is an inventor.

Akpos na complete NIGERIAN.

Dis Akpos,e be like say U be mumu true true,as nobody wan praise U,you no go act like lizard & praise yourself ?

Akpors was tired of City Girls went to his village in search of a decent girl to pick as a Wife.

He got a real village Girl, paid her bride prize and brought her to the City.

When he wanted to make Love to her, He found out that her pubic hair was too much and asked her to shave. The Girl said," Sir, I no fit shave oo! Nah this hair make all di boys wey dey village dey call
me" NKECHI AFRO".

Gmailer wrote:

Quiz;

Q1: which country is next to USA

Akpos answered; USB:D Good nite n happy nite rest

Bros, nawa for dis ur dp o, abi u wan spoil bros akpos o, na child of god o

STUPID AKPORS
Akpors: who is the biological
father to
Junior and Daniel?
Akpors wife: what sort of stupid
question is that?...you are thier
father..
Akpors: you better take those two
kids
to thier father..
Akpors wife: horny, why do you
say that
they are not your kids?..
Akpors: because every night
when they
are about to pray before sleeping
they
will say:
'OUR FATHER,WHO ART IN HEAVEN'