Akpos D Comedian

A Dedicated thread for Akpos d Comedian.......


Let Have Fun.......................







Fynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy akpos caught uploading pix on fb

(SMS) Akpos 2 his wife: 'Hi Honey, I am just having my last beer, & I
will be home in 30 minutes. If I am not, please read this SMS again!

A Doctor was giving speech on alcohol Dr: People you know alcohol kills slowly..... Akpos: Who told you we are in a hurry?

Akpos has been admiring his
neighbor's
wife. The neighbor's wife always gives
him this seductive smile whenever they
greet each other. Akpos didn't know
how to approach the lady to tell her of his
desires because she's married. So,one
day the lady herself approached
Akpors alone in his apartment. AKPOS:
Hi.
LADY: Hi. AKPOS: Is everything alright?
LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you
(Smiling seductively).
AKPOS: Wow! Anything for the angel.
LADY: I...I...I...just don't know how to
say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask
and you say no.
AKPOS: Oh my lady. you don't have to.
I
am ready to do anything for you.
LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled...
AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes!
LADY: And even when he's around,he
has
some... (pause for a while) he has some
disabilities... AKPOS: Oh poor you... You must have
been going through hell!
LADY: I know you'll be stronger than
him...
AKPOS: Sure.
LADY: Can you help me? AKPOS: Wow! Now? Sure, I'm ready if
you are ready. LADY: Oh thanks
goodness! that's why I
came to you. Can you help me carry our
deep freezer from our kitchen to the
next street for repairs?

Akpos nearly Cried!!!

During testimony service on Sunday Akpos stood up and said: Make una join me in thanking and praising Baba GOD for His blessings αnd upliftment in my life. I tell you guys its good to have the fear of God and be honest. Last weekend as I was going home I came across a small bag and I opened it and behold what I found inside; 20,000 pounds!!!... Fear first catch me, but I took the bag home and when I emptied it and found some documents, ID cards, ATM cards and some phone numbers. One mind told me to call the numbers and the other told me to throw the documents away and use the money. I made up my mind and called the numbers and lucky enough the owner picked up the call. When I told him about the bag he told me he was the owner and told me everything that was inside the bag. We had an appointment and met, I handed his bag back to him and he gave me 2,000 pounds which I rejected and left. Yesterday he called me and offered me a job worth 750k a month with Chevron, a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished and air conditioned, and a 2012 Toyota Camry. - - - - - As I was smiling and testing the car I just woke up... kai malaria dream to Bad!!!.

Wife was teaching Akpos(husband) English Grammar..wife: I Am Beautiful. which tense is this?Akpos Past tense!!!

pastor Akpos was caught by his church member in a bar drinking a bottle of chilled star*beer*. So, the member asked: Member: Haabaa! Pastor Akpos you should be drinking malt, fanta or coke not star that is a beer. Your not doing τђε word you preach o. Pastor Akpos: shatttap jooo, where was malt, fanta and coke when STAR led the 3 wise men to Jesus?

Akpos(to Chichi): What's there in between ur legs? Chich: Hell! And
what's there in between ur legs? Akpos: A sinner,who wants to go to hell

TEACHER: If a person from
Nigeria is a Nigerian, then
what's a person from
Holland called?.. AKPOS:
Hollandia

Akpors father gave akpors 1k to spend at school for a full term,when the money was finished akpors decided to call hisfather and tell him that the moneywas finished.. Akpors dialed his father number.. *Number busy* Akpors kept on trying the numberit keeps on showing number busy..akpors then went to a business center,he dialed the number,as his father picked the call he kept mute..akpors himself kept mute..after 2mins of silence akpors father changed his voice to answering machine..I Akpors father:Dear customer the number you are trying to call is currently not available please try again later.. Akpors:papa.. Akpors father:shut up your dirty mouth,the number you are trying to call is not responding.. *Akpors redialed the number as his father picked the call,akpors quickly said.. Akpors:papa i know its you,i just want to tell you that i just won 200 thousand naira in a competition we did in school,& i want to send you 100 thousand naira.. Akpors father:dear customer yourcall is very very important to papa akpors please hold on at your caller'..

There are many thread of Akpors that I have read all nice

Akpos is gradually becoming famous ow. From facebook to Ntcguys.

na so we c am

Akpos is such a wonderous creation

Where is that akpors self

com warri

UHMMMMMMMMMM

eh na, d guy wan knw na

Nalerigu wrote:

Where is that akpors self

... see question

lawalahmed wrote:

Akpos has been admiring his neighbor's wife. The neighbor's wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Akpos didn't know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she's married. So,one day the lady herself approached Akpors alone in his apartment. AKPOS: Hi. LADY: Hi. AKPOS: Is everything alright? LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively). AKPOS: Wow! Anything for the angel. LADY: I...I...I...just don't know how to say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask and you say no. AKPOS: Oh my lady. you don't have to. I am ready to do anything for you. LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled... AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes! LADY: And even when he's around,he has some... (pause for a while) he has some disabilities... AKPOS: Oh poor you... You must have been going through hell! LADY: I know you'll be stronger than him... AKPOS: Sure. LADY: Can you help me? AKPOS: Wow! Now? Sure, I'm ready if you are ready. LADY: Oh thanks goodness! that's why I came to you. Can you help me carry our deep freezer from our kitchen to the next street for repairs? Akpos nearly Cried!!!

wating him dy espect

u wan knw? Na ??

Yes oo

na s_x?

Oya let do it again........

Teacher: What's the prove that men can focus two things at a time? Akpos: Breasts

Outside Akpo.......Did u know latest world Population ranking ?

Answer:

(1) China. (2) India. (3) Facebook. (4) USA. (5) Indonesia. (6) Brazil. (7) Twitter. ( Unknown (may be NTC(9jatalk))

lawalahmed wrote:

Oya let do it for again........

Teacher: What's the prove that men can focus two things at a time? Akpos: Breasts

hahahaha....

THIS VERY FUNNY LOL

Akpors had been promoted to
primary 5 and the teacher
Miss Erimma was going round
asking the pupils addition
questions.
She got to the first boy and
asked "40 + 6" the boy replied
"forty six" "good" teacher
replied and moved on
"yes you, " 50+4" and the
pupil replied "madam fifty
four ".... again good the
teacher remarked
The teacher went round and
round and round till she got
to the last seat occupied the
boy himself Akpors
the teacher asked "yes you,
Akpors, 60 + 10 ?"
Akpors stood up and
stammered " Ma-ma-ma
Madam, its SIXTY TEN"
The teacher miscarried her
8months old pregnancy
instantly

microsat wrote:

Akpors: When I hear you sing,i think 2
myself
"You should be on the Radio with that
voice"
Wife: 0h really? Am I that good?
Akpors: No,if you were on the radio I could at
least change the station.

Akpors thread is such a nice one for relaxation

yeah

hibeeke wrote:

microsat wrote:

Akpors: When I hear you sing,i think 2 myself "You should be on the Radio with that voice" Wife: 0h really? Am I that good? Akpors: No,if you were on the radio I could at least change the station.

Akpors thread is such a nice one for relaxation

me too, it releas the presure of the day

more akpors please

hibeeke wrote:

more akpors please

yes more joke,pls

Teacher Wants to Test Akpors'
IQ ....
Teacher: Akpors, what is a
Period?
Akpör: I don't know the
meaning Sir.
But I am very sure it is very
dangerous.
Teacher: Why Akpors?
Akpörs: because when my
sister said
that she didn’t see her period
for
5months,
my mum fainted, my dad got
a heart
attack and our driver ran
away….
So I don’t think Period is a
good thing.

Fishegg45 wrote:

Teacher Wants to Test Akpors'IQ ....Teacher: Akpors, what is aPeriod?Akpör: I don't know themeaning Sir.But I am very sure it is verydangerous.Teacher: Why Akpors?Akpörs: because when mysister saidthat she didn’t see her periodfor5months,my mum fainted, my dad gota heartattack and our driver ranaway….So I don’t think Period is agood thing.

men you wan brake my ribs hahahahaha

Akpors and his babe where Having a luvly Day,....suddenlly d Babe told Akpors....its time 4 dem now to be calling each others with Luv pets name....so Akpors ask d Babe..if she is to called him with pet name what did she prefer?...she now Reply dat she will be calling him Tiger...Akpors ask why Tiger...she replied saying Tiger is Brave, charmin, Good looking and Caring.....den she now ask Akpors what pet name will he be calling Her...Akpors Replied...Zebra...she now ask why did he chose Zebra....he replied saying becos of Ur strech Marks....

Akpors: I'm Hungary, Mum: why don't you Czech the fridge. Akpors: ok i'm Russian to the kitchen. Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey. Akpors: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck! Mum: There is Norway you can eat that. Akpors: I know, I guess i'll just have a can of Chile Mum: Denmark your name on the can. Akpors: Kenya do it for me? Mum: Ok, I'm Ghana do it. Akpors: Thanks, i'm so tired Iran for an hour today Mum: it Tokyo long enough. Akpors: yeah Israelly hard sometimes!

Now, here's what i've been thinking. Just imagine if The 3 Wise Men had been 3 Wise Women. They would have asked for directions instead of followingthe Star. They would have arrivedon time and helped to deliver baby Jesus, cleaned the stable, brought gifts like pampers, feeding bottle, baby clothes and made milk for the new baby... e.t.c
But wait o, what would they havesaid as they were going back?.
Okay! They would have said; I thought we were supposed to be meeting them at The National Hospital.
Did you see the shoes Mary was wearing with that dress? They didn't match o.
Can you believe they allowed those disgusting Animals in there.
That Donkey they are riding has seen better days. Can't he buy hera Range Rover Sport?.
Imagine Mary using 3310 my dear, he should have bought her abold 5.
I heard Joseph is not even working right now. Na wa o. How will they survive?.
I like her hair o, i think it's Brazilian.
Hmmmm, i wonder the kind of oilshe uses on it.
That Baby doesn't look like Joseph.
Hmmm! Virgin ke! Isn't her the Mary i knew in secondary school?.
True or False?.

Pidgin English is the only Language where Questionand Answer are the same.
For example;
Question : Ofego go share Christmas and New Year gift?.
Answer : Ofego go share Christmas and New Year gift.
Question : Garri don cost for market?.
Answer : Garri don cost for market.
Question : Garri with milk dey sweet?.
Answer : Garri with milk dey sweet.
Question : Na Garri be dis?.
Answer : Na Garri be dis.
Question : Mummy dey house?.
Answer : Mummy dey house.
Question : Oil Beans dey?.
Answer : Oil Beans dey.
Question : Ofego dey mad?.
Answer : Ofego dey mad.

Lottodream wrote:

Now, here's what i've been thinking. Just imagine if The 3 Wise Men had been 3 Wise Women. They would have asked for directions instead of followingthe Star. They would have arrivedon time and helped to deliver baby Jesus, cleaned the stable, brought gifts like pampers, feeding bottle, baby clothes and made milk for the new baby... e.t.c
But wait o, what would they havesaid as they were going back?.
Okay! They would have said; I thought we were supposed to be meeting them at The National Hospital.
Did you see the shoes Mary was wearing with that dress? They didn't match o.
Can you believe they allowed those disgusting Animals in there.
That Donkey they are riding has seen better days. Can't he buy hera Range Rover Sport?.
Imagine Mary using 3310 my dear, he should have bought her abold 5.
I heard Joseph is not even working right now. Na wa o. How will they survive?.
I like her hair o, i think it's Brazilian.
Hmmmm, i wonder the kind of oilshe uses on it.
That Baby doesn't look like Joseph.
Hmmm! Virgin ke! Isn't her the Mary i knew in secondary school?.
True or False?.

tttttttrrrrrrrruuuuuueeeeeee

hahaha.nicn one.bt i advice u shuld nt use spiritual tins to tell joke cos God shuldn,t b mok.

microsat wrote:

One day Akpors was been
chased
by two men for one of his numerous crime, So he ran into a forest and
climbed a tree, when the men got to the tree where akpors had climbed,
one of them said, Oh God, this boy has escapd again, the secnd onesaid,
No!!,
Akpors na mumu, if i call his
name three time he will
answer me, on hearin this,
Akpors started laughinh at
them and said,
hahahahahahaha, even if you call me from now till tomorrow, ino go answer you.

Nice One.....