JOKES OF NTC GUYZ PG +18

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MY BROS & SIS U WIL NEVA BLIV WHT HAPND 2ME YSTDY. STILL CNT GET OVA IT. I WNT 2 D SUPER MKT 2 PICK SMTHNG 2 EAT N AS I WS WALKING DWN D ISLE, I NOTICED DIS MAN STARING AT ME. I LUKED AT HIM N KEPT WALKING 2D FRONT COUNTER 2PICK BOTTLED WATER AND GALA. AS I PICKED DEM AND TURNED TO FIND D SAME MAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I TRIED 2 SHOW HIM SOME LUV, SO I SMILED N SAID "HI" THEN I WENT ON 2 GET A CAN COKE. CAN U BELIEVE THE SAME MAN FOLLOWED ME? I WAS GETTING A LITTLE NERVOUS AND MAD COS HE WAS FOLLOWING ME WITHOUT SAYING ANYTING. BUT I TRIED TO STAY FRIENDLY" I JUST SAID "HI" HE FINALLY RESPONDED AND SAID, "I AM SORRY 4 STARING BUT U LOOK JUST LIKE MY YOUNGEST SON..WE JUST BURIED HIM 2WKS AGO. I FELT STUPID 4 GETING MAD AS I EXPRESSED MY SYMPATHY TO HIM. HE SAID HE WAS FINE AS HE KNOWS DAT HIS SON IS WITH D LORD. THEN HE ASKED ME TO DO HIM A FAVOUR. I SAID "IF I CAN". HE SAID HE WAS A BIT SAD DAT HIS SON NEVA SAID GOODBYE 2 HIM B4 PASSING ON. HE ASKED ME TO GET IN LINE BEHIND HIM & AS HE LEFT D STORE, I SHOULD SAY "GOODBYE DAD". SO DAT HE COULD HAVE SOME SENSE OF CLOSURE. THOUGH HIS REQUEST WAS WEIRD, I HOWEVER AGREED 2 GRANT IT. SO AS HE COLLECTED HIS BAGS FROM D CASHER AND WALKED AWAY, I SAID "BYE DAD". HE TURND AND SAID "BYE SON". WHEN THE CASHIER CALCULATED MY STUFF, SHE SAID THE TOTAL WAS N6750!!!. I SAID WHAT!!...CAN U TELL ME HOW A BOTTLE OF N70 WATER, N5O GALA AND N100 CAN COKE EQUALS N6750?. SHE SAID "YOUR DAD SAID U ARE PAYING 4 HIS TOO"....MY DAD?, I SHOUTED. DAT MAN IS NOT MY FATHER OOO!!!". I QUICKLY RUSHED OUT JUST IN TIME TO SEE THE MAN APPROACHING THE PARKING LOT. I RAN AFTER HIM AND WAS SCREAMING..."EX CUSE ME, EXCUSE ME!!!". HE STARTED RUNNING 4 HIS CAR AS HE SAW ME COMING. I CAUGHT UP WITH HIM JUST B4 HE WAS ABLE 2 CLOSE D DOOR. I KEPT ON PULLING AND PULLING HIS LEGS!!! JUST LIKE AM PULLING YOURS NOW!!! YOU TOO LIKE GIST! C AS U DEY ENJOY DEY READ DEY GO!! GudMrn My Ntc Guruz!

u're hilarious man.where did u get dis humor.

A certain teacher was teaching chemistry in a class about gases,and suddenly raise the idea of asking her student question base on her topic.she ask the first student to name one type of gas he knows.the boy answered,oxygen.she ask the second student to name one.the boy answered hydrogen.it reach akpos turn and the teacher ask him to name one type of gas.akpos answered,teargas.with anger the teacher asked akpos to correct himself.akpos with confidence answered FABREGAS.the teacher fainted.hapy sunday pals

This is frank edoho from who wants to be a millionaire.your friend akpos is in the hot sit and he needs your help.answer him fast and tell him how sure you are.the next voice you will hear is your friends voice.akpos,you have 30 seconds and your time starts now.hello guy,if open heart recieve love and open hands recieve gifts.what will open legs receive.lol

Hahahahaaaaaaaa!!!
Na football it will receive.

Hahahahaha...

why was he in hospital, was he beaten

?Exclusive New Year 2013 Sales Promo
1. Tokunbo chicken... Buy 1
and get 1 free
2. London used chicken:
N1,200
3. UK used white chicken:
N1,220
4. Stolen Fowl: N850
5. Blind chicken: N800
6. Deaf and dumb chicken:
N610
7. Cripple hen (can't walk):
N380
8. Black fowl: N250
Contact me if u need any. We
deliver at ur doorstep. What
are friends for??

?Exclusive New Year Sales Promo
1. Tokunbo chicken... Buy 1
and get 1 free
2. London used chicken:
N1,200
3. UK used white chicken:
N1,220
4. Stolen Fowl: N850
5. Blind chicken: N800
6. Deaf and dumb chicken:
N610
7. Cripple hen (can't walk):
N380
8. Black fowl: N250
Contact me if u need any. We
deliver at ur doorstep. What
are friends for??

asshole lolz i no fit laff ooooooooooooooooooooo

na so

The tukunbo go do

Hmmmm another Akpor

O ti san owo omogo!

u nid more?

Fishegg45 wrote:

MY BROS & SIS U WIL NEVA BLIV WHT HAPND 2ME YSTDY. STILL CNT GET OVA IT. I WNT 2 D SUPER MKT 2 PICK SMTHNG 2 EAT N AS I WS WALKING DWN D ISLE, I NOTICED DIS MAN STARING AT ME. I LUKED AT HIM N KEPT WALKING 2D FRONT COUNTER 2PICK BOTTLED WATER AND GALA. AS I PICKED DEM AND TURNED TO FIND D SAME MAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I TRIED 2 SHOW HIM SOME LUV, SO I SMILED N SAID "HI" THEN I WENT ON 2 GET A CAN COKE. CAN U BELIEVE THE SAME MAN FOLLOWED ME? I WAS GETTING A LITTLE NERVOUS AND MAD COS HE WAS FOLLOWING ME WITHOUT SAYING ANYTING. BUT I TRIED TO STAY FRIENDLY" I JUST SAID "HI" HE FINALLY RESPONDED AND SAID, "I AM SORRY 4 STARING BUT U LOOK JUST LIKE MY YOUNGEST SON..WE JUST BURIED HIM 2WKS AGO. I FELT STUPID 4 GETING MAD AS I EXPRESSED MY SYMPATHY TO HIM. HE SAID HE WAS FINE AS HE KNOWS DAT HIS SON IS WITH D LORD. THEN HE ASKED ME TO DO HIM A FAVOUR. I SAID "IF I CAN". HE SAID HE WAS A BIT SAD DAT HIS SON NEVA SAID GOODBYE 2 HIM B4 PASSING ON. HE ASKED ME TO GET IN LINE BEHIND HIM & AS HE LEFT D STORE, I SHOULD SAY "GOODBYE DAD". SO DAT HE COULD HAVE SOME SENSE OF CLOSURE. THOUGH HIS REQUEST WAS WEIRD, I HOWEVER AGREED 2 GRANT IT. SO AS HE COLLECTED HIS BAGS FROM D CASHER AND WALKED AWAY, I SAID "BYE DAD". HE TURND AND SAID "BYE SON". WHEN THE CASHIER CALCULATED MY STUFF, SHE SAID THE TOTAL WAS N6750!!!. I SAID WHAT!!...CAN U TELL ME HOW A BOTTLE OF N70 WATER, N5O GALA AND N100 CAN COKE EQUALS N6750?. SHE SAID "YOUR DAD SAID U ARE PAYING 4 HIS TOO"....MY DAD?, I SHOUTED. DAT MAN IS NOT MY FATHER OOO!!!". I QUICKLY RUSHED OUT JUST IN TIME TO SEE THE MAN APPROACHING THE PARKING LOT. I RAN AFTER HIM AND WAS SCREAMING..."EX CUSE ME, EXCUSE ME!!!". HE STARTED RUNNING 4 HIS CAR AS HE SAW ME COMING. I CAUGHT UP WITH HIM JUST B4 HE WAS ABLE 2 CLOSE D DOOR. I KEPT ON PULLING AND PULLING HIS LEGS!!! JUST LIKE AM PULLING YOURS NOW!!! YOU TOO LIKE GIST! C AS U DEY ENJOY DEY READ DEY GO!! GudMrn My Ntc Guruz!

u get mouth

na so we c am

Fishegg45 wrote:

na so we c am

nothing do u

tnx bro

more of it

funny dude

Make you give us another joke.

A man bought some eggs and discovers there’s nothing inside, he went back to da shop to complain. They broke de eggs n all was found empty,they went to the poultry to complain. some chicken came out n started laughing n said : ”look at them,they dnt knw we’ve started using condoms......lol :-)

AKPOS BUYS BIRTHDAY GIFT
Akpo: hello who dey call?
Sandra: it's me Sandra!
Akpo: Sandy Babe! U
remember my side today?
Sandra: u know that I'm the
caring type but school
wouldn't allow me visit u.
Where are u? And what are
u doing?
Akpos: I dey chill for town! I
dey on BB right now!
Sandra: u are a bigger boy
now Oooooh!
Akpos: na the levels be that!
Always on BB level
Sandra: Do u know what
Today's date is?
Akpos: not at all!
Sandra: U are not caring at all!
U've forgotten that
today is my Birthday!
Akpos: I dey sorry Sandy! Na
wetin make u call me
be that?
Sandra: just want to invite u
over to my hostelto
make my day!
Akpos: that one na small thing
na!
Sandra: Ehen! Get me
something special Oooh!
Akpos: like wetin?
Sandra: I want to be on BB
also!
Akpos: that one na small level
for me to arrange!
AFTER 3Hours Akpos Arrived
with a brown paper bag
with 4corner shape!
Sandra: JESUS!!! I guess it's
Bold5!
Akpos: shey na becos of BB u
dey shout like this?
She gave Akpos everything he
wanted!
AFTER EVERYTHING-
Akpos: Sandy Babe! I wan
move! Take ur BB
Sandra: let me see u off
fast,can't wait to see my BB!
AFTER 10Minutes Akpos
Phone Rings-
Clara: hello Mr Akpos,ur Gal
friend fainted just now
after opening a brown paper
bag that contains Bread
and Beans!=D =)) =D =)) Na
still BB!

I go die

@fishegg you no go kill person for here with this yah laff ooooooooooooooooo

I go die

Lottodream wrote:

I go die

take am easy bro diedie oooooooooooooooooo

obodo wrote:

Lottodream wrote:

I go die

take am easy bro diedie oooooooooooooooooo

If he dies, na akpos

hibeeke wrote:

obodo wrote:

Lottodream wrote:

I go die

take am easy bro diedie oooooooooooooooooo

If he dies, na akpos

obodo wrote:

hibeeke wrote:

obodo wrote:

Lottodream wrote:

I go die

take am easy bro diedie oooooooooooooooooo

If he dies, na akpos

My father was riding his
bicycle last week
tuesday wen a taxi driver ran
into him. Their was
notin wrong wit him ooo still
he insisted to be
taken to d hospital, u knw
how old men behave.
So d cab man took him to d
hospital an he was admited at
ward 5, the cab man paid all
bills and provided him wit
foods like salad, meats, rice,
chicken, fruits etc. So on
seeing dis i decided to come
an stay
wit him for som time. We
enjoyed through out dat
day. Then d next day their
arose a cry..
sombody died at ward 1...
Tears everywer. My father
asked me: chux my son wat is
d problem?
I told him dat sombody had
died..he said
ok it is a normal thing.
Den d second day a small
boy died at ward 2, doctors
wer
confused..my father looked at
me but didnt make any
comment, den the third day
one old man dat greeted my
father dat morning died at
ward 3,
hahaha my father asked me
chux my son...i
hope u see wat am seeing? I
said yes papa.. He didnt sleep
anymor dat nite, den in d
middle of d
nite..their arose a cry...an old
woman dat was
about to be discharged died
at ward 4. The whole hospital
became confused. My father
quitely parked his
properties and woke me up
and said: chux my son park ur
things let us go because the
way am seeing things another
person is going to die at ward
5
and am not going to let dat
happen.
I said... but papa wait till
morning naaa, befor i could
finish
my father dissappeard frm d
hospital.

Is it your real father.

U be too much.

That Papa no wan die at all ow!

gud a.m bro.

wlc bro, more jokez ahead. Cheerz

More joke oooooooooo.

Akpos interview PART II
OFFICER:- what is your name?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- tell me properly!
AKPORS:- Michael Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your father's name?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
AKPORS:- Moses Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your native place?
AKPORS: M.P sir
OFFICER:- is it Makurdi Purum?
AKPORS:- No, Minna Port sir
OFFICER:- what is your
qualification?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- (angry) what is it?!
AKPORS:- Metric Pass
OFFICER:- so why do you need a
job?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
AKPORS:- Money Problem sir
OFFICER:- what is your
personality?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- would you explain
urself and stop wasting my time?
AKPORS:- Monacrotic Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to
you.
AKPORS:- sir, how's my M.P?
OFFICER:- and what's that again?
AKPORS:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- M.P !
AKPORS:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
=))=D

Jane: is called by an Unknown
number. UNKNOWN No: Hi, do you
have a boyfriend?
Jane: Yeah.
UNKNOWN No: So you have a
boyfriend. Am your dad.Am
coming so that you tell me
whenyou grew horns!!! Nkt!
5minutes later, another Unknown
caller.
UNKNOWN No:Hi, do you have a
boyfriend?
Jane: No.
UNKNOWN No: I see you don't
love me. Am your boyfriend.
Jane: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I
thought it was my stupid Dad.
UNKNOWN No: It's not your
boyfriend. It's still your dad, just
wanted to confirm u really
haveone.... Wait for me! I'm on
my way!!!

Fishegg45 wrote:

Jane: is called by an Unknown
number. UNKNOWN No: Hi, do you
have a boyfriend?
Jane: Yeah.
UNKNOWN No: So you have a
boyfriend. Am your dad.Am
coming so that you tell me
whenyou grew horns!!! Nkt!
5minutes later, another Unknown
caller.
UNKNOWN No:Hi, do you have a
boyfriend?
Jane: No.
UNKNOWN No: I see you don't
love me. Am your boyfriend.
Jane: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I
thought it was my stupid Dad.
UNKNOWN No: It's not your
boyfriend. It's still your dad, just
wanted to confirm u really
haveone.... Wait for me! I'm on
my way!!!

u realy try

U guys to much

Fishegg45 wrote:

Akpos interview PART II
OFFICER:- what is your name?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- tell me properly!
AKPORS:- Michael Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your father's name?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
AKPORS:- Moses Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your native place?
AKPORS: M.P sir
OFFICER:- is it Makurdi Purum?
AKPORS:- No, Minna Port sir
OFFICER:- what is your
qualification?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- (angry) what is it?!
AKPORS:- Metric Pass
OFFICER:- so why do you need a
job?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
AKPORS:- Money Problem sir
OFFICER:- what is your
personality?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- would you explain
urself and stop wasting my time?
AKPORS:- Monacrotic Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to
you.
AKPORS:- sir, how's my M.P?
OFFICER:- and what's that again?
AKPORS:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- M.P !
AKPORS:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
=))=D

madness indeed

Na real Mental Problem.......lol

Whenever am sad ,I relieve myself here

microsat wrote:

Fishegg45 wrote:

Akpos interview PART IIOFFICER:- what is your name?AKPORS:- M.P sirOFFICER:- tell me properly!AKPORS:- Michael Phiri sirOFFICER:- your father's name?AKPORS:- M.P sirOFFICER:- what does that mean?AKPORS:- Moses Phiri sirOFFICER:- your native place?AKPORS: M.P sirOFFICER:- is it Makurdi Purum?AKPORS:- No, Minna Port sirOFFICER:- what is yourqualification?AKPORS:- M.P sirOFFICER:- (angry) what is it?!AKPORS:- Metric PassOFFICER:- so why do you need ajob?AKPORS:- M.P sirOFFICER: meaning?AKPORS:- Money Problem sirOFFICER:- what is yourpersonality?AKPORS:- M.P sirOFFICER:- would you explainurself and stop wasting my time?AKPORS:- Monacrotic PersonalityOFFICER:- I see... I will get back toyou.AKPORS:- sir, how's my M.P?OFFICER:- and what's that again?AKPORS:- My Performance.OFFICER:- M.P !AKPORS:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!=))=D

madness indeed

na mental problem to the highest level.

My girlfriend said; "take the condom off." "Why?" "Because YOLO" "What does that mean?" I asked. "You only live once" "Well" I said, "if you get pregnant then YOYO." "What's that mean?" "You're on your own."

Forum of a thousand laughs... Nice job sir...

True confessions of a playboy... Laugh it off: I was walking down the street sometime ago, then I saw a beautiful Bentley parked on the side way. I stopped for a minute to stare and admire it...
Just then I saw a Beautiful hot chick coming down the road. What's a brother gonna do?? I quickly moved near the car & pretended it was my ride. i kicked a bit at the front tyre and stood by the side of the door. I could see her staring at me, sure enough she had fallen for me already (I thought to myself...). She walked towards me. I composed myself & faked a call to my mechanic while leaning on the door. Just then she approached me and said, "Excuse me!". I pretended not to hear her as i flew big amounts of money for spare parts.
After a minute she again said, "excuse me sir!"
I lowered my phone & said, "just a second sweetheart, let me conclude my last order" & continued on d phone as I moved away from the door, (at this moment i was sure she had fallen for me, i could tell from her impatience). ...suddenly I shouted"if u don't get here in 10mins I ll leave this car here and take cab home"...But just as i moved from the door, She looked at me, opened her handbag removed the car keys, opened the door, hissed at me, entered & drove off.. :D:D
Lobatan!!!...fyne gal don go
Fake life!!!!
I almost fainted out of shame!!=D.

Na waao

Gmailer wrote:

True confessions of a playboy... Laugh it off: I was walking down the street sometime ago, then I saw a beautiful Bentley parked on the side way. I stopped for a minute to stare and admire it...
Just then I saw a Beautiful hot chick coming down the road. What's a brother gonna do?? I quickly moved near the car & pretended it was my ride. i kicked a bit at the front tyre and stood by the side of the door. I could see her staring at me, sure enough she had fallen for me already (I thought to myself...). She walked towards me. I composed myself & faked a call to my mechanic while leaning on the door. Just then she approached me and said, "Excuse me!". I pretended not to hear her as i flew big amounts of money for spare parts.
After a minute she again said, "excuse me sir!"
I lowered my phone & said, "just a second sweetheart, let me conclude my last order" & continued on d phone as I moved away from the door, (at this moment i was sure she had fallen for me, i could tell from her impatience). ...suddenly I shouted"if u don't get here in 10mins I ll leave this car here and take cab home"...But just as i moved from the door, She looked at me, opened her handbag removed the car keys, opened the door, hissed at me, entered & drove off.. :D:D
Lobatan!!!...fyne gal don go
Fake life!!!!
I almost fainted out of shame!!=D.

almost fainted ke, you for just die there. disgrace of the highest order.